Attitudes towards such a character trait as modesty develop differently in many countries. In the United States meek man will certainly be pushed into the background by unceremonious and completely shameless careerists, seeking to fill all possible space with themselves. In Norway, the situation is different, since modesty there is regarded not only as decent behavior in society, but also as a lack of desire for luxury and pretentious outfits.
Extreme displays of modesty
Modesty is often confused with its extreme manifestation, namely self-abasement, in which a person belittles his own capabilities and does not seek to prove himself in any way. These two concepts should be distinguished, since modest person Although he does not put his personality first, he does not forget about individual self-development. Usually, unpretentiousness accompanies adequate self-esteem.
Modesty as a character trait acquired at birth
Modesty, as a character trait acquired from birth, provides many advantages in life, primarily freedom from self-confidence and vanity. Having such useful qualities like the ability to listen, the ability to self-sacrifice, charity, a person will be loved not only among family and friends, but also in many circles of society.
In the environment educated people modesty is in no way regarded as some kind of shortcoming, the impossibility of self-expression or, in general, the failure of a person. The latter argument is regularly used by proponents of rebellion and independence as something that humble people are more likely to have average earnings, lead a moderate lifestyle. The essence of such a claim rests on the difference between moral and ethical and moral principles people, in general, they differ life priorities.
Modesty and peer pressure
However, some, under pressure from others or due to growing dissatisfaction with themselves, sincerely strive to suppress modesty as a character trait with other qualities close to arrogance. But in this case, it’s worth taking a closer look at your own self, figuring out why it’s worth changing yourself.
Sometimes people deliberately hide behind a mask of modesty, trying to hide self-doubt and shyness from others. This becomes a convenient form of presenting oneself in society. Such individuals are often unbalanced and irritated, which is especially evident in stressful situations when their internal discomfort comes out.
It is quite simple to distinguish sincere modesty from pretense; it is characterized by simplicity and sincerity. Therefore, you should pay attention not only to people’s behavior and their qualities, but also to look at yourself from the outside as often as possible.
Personality, which is expressed in the fact that a person comes into a state of extreme awkwardness from some life events. Characteristic Features modesty is a person's intense concern about what other people will think of him. Such a person most often avoids talking about himself or does it very little. In a conversation with him, one gets the impression that he puts the needs and needs of the interlocutor much higher than his own. We can say that this person is overly concerned about others, about what opinions people have about him from the outside.
There is such a thing as false modesty. They talk about it when anxious feelings prevent a person from leading a full life. Excessive modesty can significantly harm a person. Missed opportunities, constant stress, loss of interest in your favorite activity - these are the main consequences. This is why it is so important to learn to separate all kinds of fears from your own personality, to allow your inner content to manifest itself in the outside world.
Reasons for modesty
The concept of modesty originates from childhood. If a child is constantly pulled back, not allowed to realize his dreams, scolded for showing a bright individuality, then he will not develop the habit of realizing his goals. But it is so important in our lives to be able to express our desires, to know what you want to achieve as a result of certain efforts. A modest person will hardly allow himself to somehow stand out from the crowd, and this is extremely necessary if we are talking about a mature, accomplished person.
You should never hinder a child’s new beginnings or tell him that nothing will come of a new venture or idea. Children are extremely sensitive to various comments, so you should choose your words with caution and common sense.
Character trait - modesty
What is a modest person like? He probably lowers his eyes often and is embarrassed to say extra word, estimates his own capabilities very low. In fact, such an attitude towards oneself cannot be called adequate, because it does not take into account the individual abilities and talents that, without a doubt, each of us possesses.
You need to understand that modesty blocks a person’s capabilities and forces him to keep his prospects to himself. It is certainly convenient for people around you to be around a modest person. He does not cause inconvenience, does not pester you with questions, and, as a rule, is very delicate in communication. But you need to understand that modesty harms the individual itself, does not allow her to be herself, to develop her own capabilities. Such behavior can lead to very sad results when talents and abilities turn out to be hidden inside and cannot find a way out into the world.
Modesty of a woman
Female modesty has at all times been considered synonymous with humility and easy character. It is believed that natural delicacy and reluctance to interfere in the lives of others are characteristic of the fairer sex. There is a widespread belief that modesty, to one degree or another, adorns a woman. She becomes soft, pliable, pleasant, and will not contradict anyone. Meanwhile, not all women who express obvious modesty in communication really agree with everything that others say. It’s just that these women, for one reason or another, have a strong fear of being misunderstood and offended. They hide it with all their might own position, so that when you look at them, it is sometimes impossible to imagine what they are really thinking. Modest women, as a rule, underestimate themselves, and therefore are often forced to play other people's roles in society.
How to overcome modesty?
Those who want to get rid of the habit of living by the needs and desires of other people need to reconfigure their own perception of reality. It is important to learn to look at things differently, at life around you. It should be remembered that excessive modesty and shyness always harm personality development. In other words, we can say that modesty is synonymous with self-doubt ( read an article about). Below are useful tips, helping to minimize the appearance of modesty.
Thus, modesty is not so much a natural quality of a person as a habit of acting and behaving in society in a certain way. Of course, it needs correction, so that the person begins to realize his own value and significance.
Modesty
(Questions are asked by the editor of the magazine "In the City" Ekaterina Baklanova)
“Life that is aware of its beauty tends to hide itself in tales of modesty. A lie shouts loudly: “I am light!” and instantly burns out, and modesty, like a diamond, is silent, but has its own light, shining with constant brightness.”Inayat Khan Hidayat
What features make up the image of a person whom we respect, who can serve as an example for us? Most of you will probably agree that such a person must be brave, truthful, honest, loyal, kind, persistent and, of course, modest. "How smarter person, the more modest he is,” reads ancient aphorism. IN Japanese proverb It is said: “Modesty is the adornment of wisdom.” “Modesty is just as necessary for virtues as the figures in a picture need a background: it gives them strength and relief,” wrote J. La Bruyère, and L. N. Tolstoy considered modesty and simplicity to be the main conditions for a person’s moral beauty.
What is modesty? A psychologist, a specialist in systemic therapy and family constellations Tomashevskaya-Kurkova Zhanna.
What is modesty: a quality transmitted at the genetic level, a product of upbringing, the result of a person’s internal work on himself? Is it under human control?
Modesty is inner dignity and self-esteem. This is the result of knowledge of oneself and the universe, diligence and hard work, will and strong character. It's huge inner work. The deeper and more interesting person, the more noble and modest he is. A self-sufficient person does not need to highlight his qualities or achievements; he does not need external approval. He lives based on his inner world. Accepts mistakes and victories equally. When he makes a mistake, he does not attract attention to himself and does not present himself as a victim. He learns and solves his life problems. When he wins, he doesn’t brag about it, but accepts what he receives with gratitude and moves on with life. Living in harmony with himself, he knows the value of his own life and that of the people around him.
What is the difference between modesty, shyness and self-consciousness? Is a modest person weak and indecisive? Can a humble person be proud?
Shyness and shyness most often stem from lack of self-confidence. A person is afraid to express his point of view and always adapts to the majority or simply remains silent, not knowing and not being able to express himself. Humility is confident and bold. Confident man lives with faith. What is a man's faith is his internal state and behavior among people. The human mind and intellect rely on faith. A humble person lives his life with dignity. He has spirit and will, he is free from external evaluation. Modesty is proud. But pride without modesty turns into arrogance and pride.
Does modesty always adorn a person?
Recently, while relaxing by the sea, I observed funny situations. On the city beach, the children and adults of one German family stripped naked, attracting attention and catching the puzzled glances of vacationers. They undressed and looked defiantly at those around them; the attention and reaction of people was very important to them. That same day, I accidentally met a Russian woman on the beach and later met her in a restaurant. This lady had already dined with her family, but nevertheless she made every effort to join our table. During dinner, in the first minute of the conversation, I learned that the woman was related to psychology. All evening we listened only to this lady, who during the conversation did not listen to anyone and did not allow anyone to say a word, trying to self-realize at the expense of the attention and energy of other people. Meanwhile, her seven-year-old daughter was actively competing with her mother. She climbed onto a post near the table and pretended to be a monkey very loudly: she made faces, screamed, different sounds, thereby involuntarily forcing you to pay attention to yourself. Three completely different situations - aspiring nudists, a female psychologist and her daughter. But everyone was screaming for help. Everyone needed the most basic human need - recognition. When a child is small, the recognition of his parents - mom and dad - is very important to him. And the behavior of a little girl who literally demanded her mother’s unreceived attention and love is quite normal. And it looks a little comical and sad when an adult in any way draws the energy of other people onto himself in order to at least somehow make sure that HE EXISTS. As a person grows up, recognition becomes more deep meaning. RECOGNITION – it is important for a person to bewith knowledge. It is important to know yourself, your needs and desires, your capabilities. Know the laws of the universe and the laws of human development. It is very important to be in the highest knowledge. By comprehending knowledge, a person learns and recognizes himself – a person. He becomes self-sufficient and independent from others. If a person stops in his development by receiving a diploma about his professional suitability, then throughout his life he will need how to a small child, constant recognition from other people. The very word CHECLO - VEK (student of the century) contains a huge meaning of human life.
People who really believe that being naked among people is natural, go to the circle of their like-minded people - nudists. They undress and enjoy their condition, they have no need to challenge “others”, people who are not like them. In the same way, a professional in his activity is interested in communicating about the topics of his profession in his circle - among the same professionals. They have absolutely no need to stick out their worldview among people who are far from it. As a rule, regardless of worldview and social trends, people who really believe in what they talk about do not shout about it at every corner, but simply live by it. They do it for themselves.
Sometimes, when communicating with people, only after some time do you completely accidentally find out about their achievements in the profession or interesting image life. They are attracted not by words, but by deeds already done. This is their way of life. They respect and protect their inner world and very selectively let others into it. Mature people are modest, simple and natural. These qualities are very rare in our society and the most valuable decoration. I have witnessed many times when in disputes, discussions and other difficult life situations Modesty won. A modest person conquers and is very endearing.
Can modesty become a serious obstacle in life or, even worse, a reason constant stress and, as a result, diseases?
Modesty is an internal value that a person relies on in difficult life situations. This quality can only help during times of stress and illness. We attract trouble to ourselves due to our own incorrect thoughts or actions. Modesty, thanks to acquired wisdom, allows you to look at stressful situation with real eyes, accept it and solve it with dignity.
How do you feel about Dzongsar Khyentse’s statement: “Even modesty can be a kind of pretense and hypocrisy”? What is false modesty? Vanity trick or pretense?
People can play, pretend and put on the mask of a modest person. It happens that a person who is not confident and timid, lazy and uninteresting to himself hides behind imaginary modesty. This is a convenient form of presenting yourself in society. But such people are usually irritated and unbalanced. Their inner discomfort comes out over time. Often their “modest” life motto is the phrase: “Lord, I don’t need anything, just make sure that others don’t have anything.”
True modesty can always be distinguished from pretense - it is accompanied by simplicity, naturalness and goodwill.
Can a modest person replace shyness with unusual forms of behavior - feigned impudence and swagger?
Modesty is the inner state of a person, it is accumulated wisdom. Arrogance and swagger are masks behind which an insecure person hides, for whom it is very important to impress others. We all know that little children misbehave due to lack of love and attention. The exact same reason for the behavior of an arrogant and cheeky person is to express himself in any way. This behavior is a cry for help. A modest person is not focused on his surroundings; he knows who he is, what he is doing and why. Even if those around him do not accept his worldview, he will not be upset. What matters to him is what he himself knows and lives.
Is it possible to consider excessive modesty as a vice that needs to be gotten rid of? And if so, how can this be done?
Modesty is a great value, part of the internal foundation on which a person relies in his life. It needs to be developed and increased in oneself. This quality is available to few.
Can a modest, seemingly indecisive, but very competent and intelligent specialist get a highly paid job, or is it easier for a self-confident slob to do this?
A self-confident slob may be able to get a job faster, but a modest specialist will hold a job. Getting a modest, competent specialist is great luck. Such people talk less and do more. A self-confident slob talks a lot and creates the appearance of work. This is what employers have for probation, to consider a specialist and distinguish idle talk from action.
Whose modesty is more valued: men's or women's? What are the causes of excessive modesty?
Both male and female modesty are very beautiful. Unfortunately, today we see very few such people around. The bulk are throwing dust in the eyes. People immodestly assert themselves with their position, connections, and opportunities. But without faith and dignity within, they feel empty. Hence the arrogance, rudeness and ostentation. When a person himself personally achieves financial situation or fame, he behaves much more modestly than someone who has achieved something with the help of others. The personal independent path of material achievements runs parallel to life’s accumulation of wisdom and experience. If a person receives something at the expense of someone, his soul always knows about it. And then, in order to drown out this knowledge, a person puts these achievements on display, convincing, first of all, himself that he is significant. In parallel with this comes irritation, anger, and dissatisfaction. The deeper and more interesting a person is, the more modest he is. Male modesty is accompanied by dignity, female modesty is accompanied by simplicity and naturalness. There is no such thing as too much modesty.
Is it necessary to overcome modesty?
I think that it is still very early to talk about this topic in our society... We all need to work a lot on our self-development in order to develop even a small share of real modesty.
The difference between modesty and secrecy is huge! You can guess which ones there are more in Kurganinsk.
A modest person is a person completely devoid of any boasting or boasting. This is a highly moral person, possessing true good manners and at the same time high demands on himself.
A modest person, clearly aware of his obvious advantages, deliberately avoids loud public recognition, nobly and tactfully helping others to show off their unique merits. Usually modest people express their opinions with pleasure, benevolence and sincerity, you just have to ask them about it. They are firm, active, consistent and thorough in critical situations. Their position is clear and open.
Sometimes modesty is also confused with timidity and shyness. And in vain, because timidity and shyness determine only the degree of a person’s uncertainty in the correctness of his actions.
The above cannot in any way be attributed to the concept of a secretive personality, because the secrecy of a personality comes from the ability to hide not one’s talents and virtues, but one’s true beliefs and habits.
A secretive person seems to wear a mask that pleases those around him, skillfully misleading others about his own tastes, preferences and opinions. He is able to imitate noble feelings, but not experience them. And if a true modest person avoids recognizing his merits out of delicacy and respect for others, then the motives of a secretive person, as a rule, are not so noble.
A secretive person hides not at all out of delicacy and respect for others, but out of considerations of deep arrogance, aggression and distrust, and sometimes even contempt for others. Sometimes even the relatives and friends of a secretive person have no idea about who exactly they lived with and continue to live with for many, many years. He seems to be quiet and modest, like a family member or neighbor, taciturn and easy-going.
It seems to say what everyone is used to saying and hearing. But, if you think about it, it’s almost impossible to get a completely clear, definite explanation for this or that matter from a secretive person, and his actions are sometimes so inexplicable...
If a secretive person is a leader, then the formulation of tasks in his execution is a real torment for his subordinates. Completing the task itself is reminiscent of the game “Battleship”. The handwriting of such a person is too intricate. Subordinates spend too much time and effort solving the “mysteries” of their secretive boss, who is also an inveterate emergency worker.
Often a secretive person, due to the structure of his personality, experiences a piercing antipathy towards truly modest, sociable, hardworking and sincere people. Of course, the secretive manager will express such antipathy implicitly, but in the form of a series of unexpected and much more urgent, important and difficult production needs that have fallen on the modest person’s head. Moreover, lazy and evasive subordinates, with such a distortion of labor relations, will feel quite comfortable.
You can’t count on the sincerity of a radically secretive person in the family. The nature of such a radical is such that he will definitely find something to hide from his other half. For example, the true size of your salary or any suspicious preferences. Life with a werewolf is unpredictable. And sometimes it is dangerous.
Therefore, before getting married, young people of both sexes, out of respect for themselves, their parents and their future children, should carefully try to research who is who your future other half is.
Modesty is positive quality personality, which manifests itself in relation to oneself, and not in relation to other people. Almost always, modesty is directly proportional to talent. Modesty, unlike immodesty, knows how to listen and perceive new things.
Modesty is sincerely interested in others, respects the norms of morality and ethics accepted in society.
Modesty gives freedom from vanity and provides the opportunity to learn from others, adopting their virtues. A modest person is characterized by another positive quality - he is not intrusive in communication.
If a Modest person sees that someone communicating with him is not happy, he will try to avoid contact.
Modesty does not bother other people with your behavior. Modesty should not be confused with downtroddenness and softness.
Modesty is, first of all, a developed sense of self-esteem
Another concept parallel to Modesty is Downtroddenness. Congestion arises from the fear of losing something serious. Downtroddenness is an extreme manifestation of Modesty. Modesty cannot be used for selfish purposes. Modesty has its own purpose and therefore can always politely refuse. Modesty adds nothing of its own to the learned truth.
Modesty knows how to explain, because modesty does not get nervous when a person does not understand, but continues to patiently present its confident point of view in a friendly manner.
Often in society, the concept is fixed that modesty is weakness and indecisiveness, but experience and facts prove to people that this is a mistake. Modesty is Strength and Respect for character.
Anyone who deeply explores his inner self finds mistakes in himself and inevitably becomes Modest. He is no longer proud of his knowledge and does not consider himself superior to others.
Scale of values andextreme manifestations: > > >
Strong man, modest and is devoid of Pride, he does not need honors and glory. The ability to humbly listen and hear another person is extremely important for relationships in family life. If spouses know how to listen to each other’s opinions, then the family is a single whole, which means it is based on mutual respect. The egoist does not listen to anyone, and no one wants to listen to him. To achieve the state emotional Happiness, Goodness - the character trait Modesty is extremely important!
Modesty according to Esoteric views
A modest person is, first of all, a peaceful person. However, a peaceful person can be far from modest and, as you know, there are devils in still waters. Modesty is very different from meekness. Humility means victory over anger, a person perceives all incoming information humbly, whether he is scolded or praised - he will react equally humbly.
Humility – top quality A holy person, it automatically assumes the presence of modesty. Modesty doesn't have to be humble.
Manifestations of Modesty
If modesty is scolded or insulted, the manifestation may be Anger. Modesty is indifferent to glorification, honors, gifts, but when insulted human dignity Modesty can manifest itself in the form of an outburst of Anger.
Humility is generally the absence of anger, and modesty is the absence of desire for honor. Modesty is a necessary step towards humility.
Properties of immodesty
If a person cannot evade honors, this in no way speaks of his immodesty.
Manifestations of immodesty are when a person focuses attention on himself, behaves in a mannered manner, speaks loudly, with pathos and commanding notes in his voice, is flashily dressed, and shows Envy.
Immodesty, as a manifestation of pride, constantly comes into conflict with others, and this leads to suffering and pain.
When a person does not speak sincerely, with pathos, people consciously or unconsciously resist his immodesty.
The negative energy background in communication with an immodest person can usually be clearly distinguished.
When communicating in society or society, the risk of conflict increases, and this means pain and suffering. The ego of immodesty collides with the massive ego of others.
Unlike immodesty, modesty is always in a state of peace, that is, its mind is calm. Peace is the calmness of the mind, that is, the mind of a peaceful person is not agitated by his ego, he is constantly at peace.
An immodest person, without showing honor to him, experiences envy. Immodesty without honor grimaces and comes from envy. Modesty behaves calmly, unpretentiously, and always performs his duty well, with or without honors. Immodesty, if lured by honors, will fulfill her duties; it will not even occur to her to disinterestedly fulfill her duty.
Lack of modesty is a burning desire for honor
Immodesty is not stable; without rewards, privileges and honors, it is unworkable.
In other words, it is difficult to have a relationship with an immodest person. He does not work consistently, conflicts with people, and is not respected. Working in a team with the manifestation of immodesty by one or more employees will corrode envy.
The test of modesty is the praise of the Flatterer.
A flatterer will always find a corner of immodesty in the soul. Immodesty is manifested by a laudatory statement addressed to a person. Expecting honors and an indiscreet person, she blurs with praise, unable to hide her reaction. Indulging your Pride is what awaits immodesty.
Modesty, indifferent to praise. Modesty is the opposite of arrogance.
These two qualities form a scale of opposites such as Modesty - Impudence When modesty becomes the manifested side of a personality, we consider such a person to be modest. According to the esoteric laws of personality development, Modesty is the quality of a Holy person.
Real, not ostentatious Modesty attracts Modesty. As an example of life - if a modest girl wants to get married, then like attracts like. An arrogant girl will attract the attention of men who are interested in her body, and not her inner world.
Modesty manifests itself within a person - it is internal purity and the ability to preserve and protect this purity.
Modesty is the most powerful weapon of a Woman in the fight for a Man
Modesty is one of the qualities of a Strong personality. Strong personality a modest person is not burdened by Pride. A strong person sees events and society outside world without bias and selfishness.
Modesty does not tend to find faults in other people. This is the fundamental property of this quality.
Envy is a sign of lack of modesty
Modesty lives in harmony with one's desires and capabilities; it is not pretentious and restrained. She is disgusted by excesses, luxury and destructive lust. Therefore, modesty will reach a material goal faster than immodesty. The external goal is achieved through the implementation of the internal goal.
Internal goal means to cultivate in oneself the maximum best qualities personalities and then external goals are implemented automatically.
As an example: The husband’s goal is for his wife and children to respect him.
Forcing yourself to be respected through external manifestations - giving gifts, showdowns and scandals - will not achieve the Goal.
But if he sets an Internal goal - to transform and become a responsible person and strives for this goal, the result will not be long in coming. Women respect responsibility in a man. Having felt changes in the behavior of the father and husband, his loved ones will change their attitude towards him for the better.
Immodesty is unable to listen
Active listening involves Humility. This personality quality is the opposite of Pride, so immodesty cannot claim it. Pride grows and activates the Egoism of a person’s Personality.
Gradually, a person’s Ego destroys Consciousness, and he begins to feel omniscient, the most intelligent and irreplaceable. The disease is progressing. This means that modesty is lost, the ability to further develop, improve, and progress is lost. When a person and Personality was modest, he could listen to other people and learn from them. That's when he was happy. Based on the baggage of past merits, a person tries to confirm his importance.
Selfishness, immodesty and greed
The character trait Greed manifests itself as a negative manifestation of immodesty. A man who has lost his modesty suffers life failures. When a person’s consciousness is infected with Egoism, he is unable to convey his thoughts and knowledge to other people. When a person is in Pride, he cannot convey anything to people, they simply do not understand him.
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