Optimists, pessimists and realists: a medal with two sides and an edge. Realist or pessimist: which one are you? Which view of the world is better?

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Optimism (from Latin Optimus - “best”) is the tendency to see the good sides of everything in life, to believe in success and a successful outcome of something.

Pessimism is a gloomy, joyless outlook on life, a tendency to see everything in a gloomy light; sad mood.

In essence, optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin: the front, bright and joyful, and the back - gloomy and gray.
However, there is another important term in the explanatory dictionary - realism. It denotes the ability to clearly understand and realistically evaluate the surrounding reality when implementing something.
An optimist and a pessimist are two extremes, between which lies the birth point of a realist.
Realism comes when the expectation of good and bad in a person comes to a certain state of balance.

Which view of the world is better?

There is an opinion that the best way to perceive the world is optimistic.
After all, who is an optimist? This is someone who never loses heart, sees only the good sides in everything, does not think about the worst, and is able to find positive aspects in any trouble.

The importance of optimists in our lives cannot be overestimated: employers love them for their ability to forgive bullying, and for the fact that they calmly treat overtime and never escalate the situation. Colleagues - for their kindness and mutual assistance. Neighbors - for a calm atmosphere in the house. Our psyche cannot stand discomfort and tries with all its might to avoid it, so an optimist is a person with whom communication evokes positive feelings. While a pessimist is the type of personality that everyone runs away from like fire: a quarrelsome, bilious, eternally dissatisfied subject, capable of ruining anyone’s mood with complaints.
If you characterize a person, the word “optimist” immediately tells the interlocutor a lot due to his positive outlook on life.

The dangers of excessive optimism

Few people think that an overly rosy view of the world can be even more dangerous and unpleasant for the optimist himself than the gloomy perception of reality by a chronic pessimist.

Often optimism goes hand in hand with kindness and a reluctance to create conflict situations, argue, or defend one’s point of view. This means that such a person, being offended or finding himself in an unpleasant situation due to someone else’s fault, will forgive everything instead of demanding compensation from the one who is to blame. And, if in everyday life this only harms the optimist himself and his family (“Did the neighbors flood? Why fight with them, we’ll restore everything at our own expense”), then at work it can result in serious troubles for the entire organization.

An optimist, unlike a pessimist, can underestimate the situation, hoping for a good outcome, and if something unpleasant happens, he will be confused.

The pessimist is ready for trouble, and therefore has a plan for the worst case scenario, but the optimist finds himself face to face with misfortune, the possibility of which he did not even think about - it simply never occurred to him that everything could be so bad!

Pessimism has its positive sides

Who is a pessimist, according to the majority? A loser who, due to his bad character and eternal discontent, has no friends.

This is true only for the most persistent, most “ideological” pessimists, a textbook example of which can be considered a mechanic named Philidor Zeleny from Kir Bulychev’s stories about Alisa Selezneva. His immortal phrases: “This will not end well!” and “But I warned you!” can be called a reflection of the most negative side of the pessimistic view.

However, there are also conditionally “moderate” pessimists, which means that there are people who see not the whole world in black, but only its individual parts.
The definition of the term itself suggests that a pessimist is someone who constantly expects meanness and misfortune from the world. And this is where his strength lies.

A true pessimist always remembers: no matter how much you hope for a successful outcome of events, the probability of an unsuccessful outcome is much higher, and in order to minimize the damage, you should, while hoping for the best, always prepare for the worst.
Therefore, a pessimist who strives for self-improvement does not have to try to change his outlook on life - sometimes it is enough to develop his strengths (foreseeing troubles and preparing for them) and learn to cope with negative ones.

The third side of the coin is the perfect rib

Realism has many meanings: for some it means a dry businessman who methodically calculates how to profitably evaluate a given situation, while others believe that an interesting extreme is better than a boring, smooth middle.
In reality, being a realist means recognizing that any situation can turn out in either a good or bad direction; that life is multifaceted and does not provide ready-made answers; You can’t constantly expect troubles, but you shouldn’t hope only for joys either, so as not to be deceived.

A realist looks at the situation evenly and reasonably, makes decisions based on the actual state of affairs. He does not console himself with the thought that “tomorrow will be better,” but he also does not spoil his mood with thoughts about the troubles that may follow good luck.

Realism allows you to soberly assess those around you, your own actions, not go too far when making decisions, and makes it possible to show flexibility depending on the situation: a realist, without being tied to one extreme or another, has the opportunity to choose the type of his own reaction.

Where for a pessimist there is almost no water in the glass, and mentally he is dying of thirst, afraid to take a sip; but for the optimist there is still a lot of water, and he will die after finishing the water in one gulp; a realist will clearly calculate how quickly he can allow himself to empty his glass so as not to be left a fool.

Optimist and pessimist - where is the guarantee of happiness?

The meaning of the word "optimist" is in no way related to the word "optimal", and this should be clearly understood: yes, people with a benevolent outlook on the world are pleasant and liked, but this does not mean that they always do everything right or are happier than rest.

Happiness is such a weightless concept that even the most positive outlook on life will not guarantee that you will receive this very thing at your personal disposal as payment for a smile, good nature and the ability to regard troubles as something positive.

At the same time, the constant expectation of failure, ironclad readiness for them and a plan for the most terrible situations in life do not guarantee that the straw placed on all sides will protect you from troubles.

Both optimists and pessimists - all these people are capable of making mistakes, not foreseeing something, not anticipating something, or underestimating something. Even realism does not guarantee a happy life, however, self-improvement gives a greater chance that such changes will not pass without a trace, and this inspires hope for the best.
After all, a person who has smoothed out the rough edges of his character and developed his strengths always has more friends, he exudes harmony, he evokes a positive response in the souls of those around him, and makes both himself and others happy. Who knows, maybe this is precisely the essence of happiness?

Has anyone ever called you a pessimist? If yes, but you do not agree with this opinion and you want to know whether it is true or not, this article is for you. A realist is often confused with a pessimist. But the truth is that these are two completely different personalities. And, therefore... what is the difference between a realist and a pessimist?

First of all, it is important to understand that the tendency to see negative qualities in various things is normal. There is an evolutionary and adaptive reason behind this. This is to protect us from things that could potentially harm us.

In other words, our psychological defense system is more focused on things that go wrong and that can hurt us. This is much more important to her than anything that is going well and currently benefiting us. However, when someone sees only the negative aspects of what is happening, he is a pessimist. In this case, this adaptive function of detecting negativity becomes a problem and spoils the mood.

In fact, there is an intermediate state between pessimism and optimism. Optimists tend to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. And the state between pessimism and realism is called realism. To explain the characteristics that differentiate a realist from a pessimist and to help you determine which one you are, we'll look at some important concepts below.

Pessimist: what makes him different?

When a person is pessimistic, they have a cognitive attitude that psychologist Aaron Beck called selective abstraction. In other words, thanks to this opinion, pessimists pay attention only to information in a negative color and accept only that.

This is why pessimists pay attention to negative information and remember it. Many times, without even noticing it, they filter information and only see negative things.

If you consider yourself a pessimist and think you're falling into this cognitive fallacy, don't worry! There is a solution for this. There are scientifically proven psychological techniques such as cognitive restructuring and cognitive fusion. They are intended to help the pessimist distance himself from certain thoughts. They can also help him change automatic psychological processes and negative thinking patterns.

“A pessimist complains about the wind. An optimist hopes for a change in the weather. The realist sets sail."
-William George Ward-

Am I a pessimist?

If you want to know who you are, remember that pessimists see difficulties and expect worse results. Even if it's very unlikely.

In the sense that being a pessimist is partly due to having an anxiety-based personality type. These are people who remain at one end of the worry line and therefore see life from a negative perspective. When a person is a pessimist, he unconsciously tends to limit himself, thinks about the worst and is more susceptible to uncertainty. He focuses on uncertainty, expecting to be able to prepare for the worst.

Basically, if you are a pessimist, you automatically see negative aspects even in positive events or situations in your life. In other words, pessimists focus on the things that went wrong, even despite successes. As a pessimist, you find it difficult to enjoy your achievements because you are focused on what could be better.

“true realism consists in showing amazing things that habit prevents us from seeing” -Jean Cocteau-

So...what is a realist?

First of all, a realist is characterized by the fact that he is in no hurry to judge. He waits to see how things are before giving his opinion. He waits to see what is happening, and when he has collected all the facts, he makes an assessment. Only then does he decide whether something is good or bad.

Therefore, the realist remains relatively neutral until the impact of a given situation is clarified. He is able to adapt his expectations to reality.

Likewise, the realist not only mentally prepares for everything that could go wrong (remember the objective facts). He also prepares himself for the possibility that he will succeed. In other words, this is a person who is ready for any outcome of events, both negative and positive. He knows how to use his achievements and is prepared for possible failure. But failures do not prevent him from taking one more step to get closer to his chosen goal.

You probably already understand that a realist does not use catastrophic thinking. Correctly assesses the positive and negative aspects of a situation or problem. This is the basis of realism.

If after reading the explanations above you find that you are a pessimist, we would like to remind you that a psychologist can help change these aspects of your personality. This will help you break the catastrophic and selective filtering of information you use every day. Do something good for yourself and make an appointment with a psychologist.

Test. Optimist or pessimist?

Mark Twain once said: “There is no more terrible sight in the world than a young pessimist. Probably the only thing more terrible is the old optimist.” As paradoxical as it sounds, both positions have their advantages and disadvantages.

In many dictionaries, optimism is defined as a perception of the world around us, imbued with cheerfulness and faith in the future, and pessimism is a perception imbued with despondency and disbelief in a better future.

In the opinion of pessimists, failures will last a long time, relate to most areas of their life, and they themselves are to blame for them. In a difficult situation, pessimists become depressed.
Failures cannot break optimists. After all, they are temporary, affecting only a small part of their life, and optimists themselves are innocent of these problems. They are more likely to achieve success at work, in sports and school, and in their personal lives.

Two people - two different views, two different approaches to life. There are people who always lack something, always have something to complain about. There are others: they know how to rejoice and find a bright moment in any situation. And the point here is not what a person has, but how he evaluates what he has.

Professor of psychology from the University of Heidelberg Klaus Fieder, as a result of many years of research, came to the conclusion: people in a gloomy mood think conservatively, but out of fear of making a mistake they work carefully. On the contrary, a cheerful mood stimulates discovery, a creative approach to business, but also a willingness to take risks that are fraught with failure. Therefore, probably the most correct solution is to be able to find a middle ground: not to exaggerate troubles and not to indulge yourself with illusions.

How do you look at the world around you? Answer the test questions "Yes" or "No".

1. Do you like to travel?

2. Would you like to learn anything else besides what you already know?

3. Do you often take sleeping pills or sedatives?

4. Do you like visiting and receiving guests?

5. Do you often manage to predict impending troubles?

6. Don’t you think that your friends have achieved more in life than you?

7. Is there a place for any sports activities in your life?

8. Do you think that fate is unfair to you?

9. Are you concerned about a possible global environmental disaster?

10. Do you agree that scientific progress creates more problems than it solves?

11. Did you choose your profession successfully?

12. Have you insured your property?

13. Would you agree to move to another city if you were offered an interesting job there?

14. Are you satisfied with your appearance?

15. Do you often feel unwell?

16. Is it easy for you to get used to an unfamiliar environment and find your place in a new team?

17. Do people around you consider you an energetic, active person?

18. Do you believe in selfless friendship?

19. Are there any personal good omens for you - lucky numbers, lucky days of the week, etc.?

20. Do you believe that everyone is the architect of their own happiness?

Let's summarize.

Put 1 point for answer "Yes" to questions 1, 2, 4, 7, 11 And 13-20 , And 0 points for answer "No" to the same questions.

Put 1 point for answer "No" to questions 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12 And
0 points for answer "Yes" to the same questions.

Count up the points. If you typed:

0-4 points

It seems that life has pretty much beaten you up, and you no longer expect anything good from it. You consider adversity inevitable, joy - random. Self-pity and distrust of people prevent you from enjoying life. To cheer up and perk up your spirit at least a little, learn to appreciate the little joys that each of us has. Don't forget: life is never so bad that it cannot be changed by our attitude towards it.

5-9 points

By nature you are a cheerful person, but in the trials of life you have lost a fair amount of your optimism. Sadness and unfulfilled hopes often darken your mood. Your actions are predominantly dictated not by the desire for a goal, but by the desire to avoid failure. Because of this, little can be achieved. After all, when you expect trouble, it will happen. Try changing your perspective. You have enough strength to change a lot for the better.

10-14 points

Congratulations, you are a realist, a sensible person who knows the value of yourself and people. You know how to set realistic goals and achieve them. You clearly see the shadow sides of life, but are not inclined to savor them. For your friends and loved ones, you are a reliable support, because you know how to console in grief and cool down excessive delight.

15-18 points

You are full of love of life and optimism, you always know how to find the bright side in events and people, if it is worth doing. Dejection rarely visits you, since it is not a completely constructive emotion, in your opinion. However, such a position is fraught with some misunderstanding with others who do not share your optimism. You should think about the reasons for both their dissatisfaction and your confidence that everything will be fine. Is there a basis for these opinions and how important is it? How successful are you with this approach to life? Are your efforts adequate to the results you get?

19-20 points

Your optimism is simply overflowing. It’s as if troubles don’t exist for you, and you simply brush them aside, rushing towards new joys. However, think about it: is your position too frivolous? It is possible that underestimating serious problems will one day cause you to face unexpected grief.



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