I received quite a wide response, so I think that the topic needs to be continued and deepened. Otherwise, my readers may get a false and incomplete picture.
Let me make a reservation right away that all French people are divided into two camps in his attitude towards Russian women- those who passionately love Russians are lawyers, and those who do not love Russian women are prosecutors.
The first are sober philosophers, intellectuals, well aware of who is who and who have no illusions about people of non-French nationality, as well as happy husbands of faithful Russian wives (or lovers of unfaithful ones).
The second are chauvinists, villagers and people who suffered from love for Russian women themselves, or who heard stories of their friends about this, “Rabinovich sang to me on the phone.”
Between them is a small layer of hesitant people - those who have not yet encountered the phenomenon, have not heard about it and have not come into contact with it in any way.
Why do some French people not like Russian women?
So, I’ll start my review with the latter, namely those who formed their opinion about Russian women from a compote of prejudices, and French television programs in the style of Andrei Malakhov.
Below I present my translation of a typical text from a Frenchman who cites statistical data without even double-checking them “for every Russian man there are 2.5 women”, and continues to describe his cranberries to his gaping compatriots:
10 reasons not to hang out with a Russian (literal translation)
Get ready for boring evenings...
This is the case when “you can speak fluently in 6 languages and not have anything to say”... An interesting paradox: Russian women are superior to French women in their level of education and erudition, and these same Russian “clever girls” will torment you in the evenings with dull, meaningful silence. The reasons for which are a priori inexplicable - Russian unpredictability and behavior.
It's like that. Just one detail - mostly ladies with higher education surf the Internet, that is, the sample is not correct enough. And Russian unpredictability can be caused by anything, from a headache to a difference in mentality. The opposite is also true; Russian women in France often get tired of talking with their husbands about the same things, and discussing the taste of the same dishes 150 times is not in the Russian tradition.
She's smarter than you
Combined with dreary speech and the sad legacy of your native language, as well as endlessly accumulating minutes of silence will cast doubt on your ability to think adequately... And in terms of pragmatism and self-interest, Russian women are really much smarter than you.
The first sentence emphasizes the French’s regret that they will never understand the Russian language the way we do, and even more so, they will never learn to think in it.
Well, the second is partly true: what can you do - non-pragmatists cannot survive in northern latitudes...
She's less in the clouds than you
The Russian woman, usually with a heavy wealth of experience, disappointments and resentments, no longer believes in the model of passionate love, so pragmatism replaces opium and religion for her. While you are stuck in terms of “does she love me or not,” a Russian woman wastes no time talking about feelings and spends the saved time figuring out the benefits that she can get from you additionally.
It is clear that the French, as carefree southerners and romantics, are blinded by our northern pragmatism.
She suffered more than you
Russian women have seen enough of such treatment and relationships from their men that your emotional “sushu-mushu” does not touch them at all. It is easy to guess that she will neglect your ideals of love and claims for reciprocity.
We can advise these guys who have been burned by milk to marry less sophisticated girls, of whom there are also many in our villages.
She has no pity...
A point that follows from the previous one. The value system of Russian women is based on the fact that a man is stronger and must dominate. Therefore, do not expect sympathy and pity from her and get used to enduring all troubles in silence.
The reason for the failure of many Franco-Russian marriages is very accurately indicated here. For the French male habit of crying to a woman calls into question his entire masculinity. Our women do not tolerate this and subconsciously begin to provoke the French into conflicts, often leading to divorce.
You are just a means, not an end...
Alas, you should not have any illusions about “eternal love” with a Russian woman. You are just another transitional stage in her life, a companion and fellow traveler on the road to the life that she secretly dreams of, and which should come true as far as possible from her homeland...
Here the author paints everyone with the same black paint. In fact, not everything is so simple - there are often cases of truly strong Franco-Russian relations, mutual understanding and love. And the guarantee of eternal love does not exist in principle, neither here nor there.
The Internet is on her side
Today, more than ever, the number of dating sites is such that they will need no more than a couple of hours and a few bright photos to become desirable again, but for another man... All the Russian women I know, including those from those who are in a relationship tend to keep their profile
And again everyone is “one size fits all”...
Capricious princess
Russian women are absolutely different from French women (I’m not talking about external similarity now, but about internal organization).
Many French guys complain that they fulfill all their whims, pay for absolutely everything, constantly come up with new scenarios for a romantic evening... And the Russian girl takes everything for granted!
Because in Russia it is so customary that all material responsibilities are automatically transferred to strong male shoulders...
And if you offer them, for example, to pay the restaurant bill in half, they refuse...
Well, in this blog I have already spoken out on this point more than once: after all, French women have taught the French to split the bills in the fight for gender equality, the right to work hard and support a family like a man.
Russians no longer “rush at foreigners”
They are no longer so attracted by the prospect of life in France and often return to their homeland, where family and friends are waiting for them.
Behind simple relationships with foreigners, Russian women are now looking at the prospects for future life - how much her chosen one can be like a real man in the Russian sense, can independently support his family, and lead the woman herself. They are not so worried about the appearance of their bear-like men in their homeland and they are ready to forgive them everything if they support their family and woman in abundance. Even when their men return after midnight, with the scent of vodka and other people’s perfumes, their women forgive everything in order to save the family - this is the main value for them.
Well, this is such a cranberry... The passages about “I will forgive everything” are especially good, against the backdrop of French adultery and the recognition of ourselves as a nation of cheaters.
Russian women age quickly
Yes, my friends, I lived in Moscow for six years and saw this myself. I can count on one hand the women over 35 that I have seen that might interest me. An interesting paradox of Russian nature is how young Russian girls are beautiful and attractive, but older ladies are ugly. It seems that as soon as they get a husband and children, they no longer have time to look beautiful and take care of themselves.
It's hard to argue with this statement. Especially looking at the lean, graceful French women “over forty,” while our ladies become overweight with age.
Conclusion
The stereotypes of the author of this opus (and all Frenchmen with a similar point of view) are based on the image of a Russian female predator, a vamp, a shark, who is guided by pure calculation when moving to France. However, the reality is that there are very few such women in their pure form. In fact, all these points are not a cause, but a consequence of the life of a Russian emigrant, forced to adapt to the realities of a foreign country, effeminate men and the collapse of her expectations.
Initially, being in an unequal position with the same women, who in case of something will be taken care of by the state, ex-husband, relatives and friends, and employers will be more loyal, our women are forced to get out and play it safe in all possible ways.
In addition, the author of this text lived in Moscow for six years and claims to be an expert in the Field of Russian Women. In order to understand a Russian woman, even a lifetime is not enough for some! This is especially difficult to do when you are a foreigner and do not speak Russian. Although, in his place, there is no need to delve into the metaphysics and depths of the Russian soul, but simply notice the difference between Russian women and French ones. It seems to me that it would be more honest.
- They say that the French do not want to communicate with tourists in any language other than French. This is not entirely true. If you bother to learn a couple of words like “bonjour”, “silvupple” and “merci”, they will gladly show you the way, even in English. And if you ask them to speak French, their happiness will know no bounds.
- You are doomed to failure, if you try to pretend to be a Frenchman, they will understand that you are Russian, even if you remain silent. Curiosity haunted me and I had to ask how they identified their nationality. This is what they answered me: look, face, clothes and voice.
- When the waiters realize that you are from Russia, they immediately try to please, and their favorite phrase in Russian is not “thank you”, not “hello”, but “good evening” (even early in the morning)
- By the way, the French are favorably disposed towards the Russians. When they find out that you are Russian, they begin to nod and smile.
- It is better to ask for directions either from classic French madams or from men, they answer more intelligently than anyone else, they gesture a lot, so if your French is lame or does not work at all, you are unlikely to get lost. It’s better not to navigate using the map; you’ll only get confused. Ask the locals.
- For some reason, it is common to think that French women look like this: But this is not true. Shaggy, not much makeup, jeans, T-shirt, flip-flops. Believe me, Russian women, even provincial women, dress much better. Decently dressed French women can only be found in the center. And most often, when you approach such a fashionable madam to ask for directions, she turns out to be Russian.
- French comes easy to some, but not to others. But when it comes to numbers, it will be hard for everyone: 70 is sixty and ten, 72 is sixty and twelve. Well, my favorite is the number 95 - four times twenty and fifteen. Maybe that's why France is the birthplace of great mathematicians?
- The Paris metro turned out to be much more convenient than the Moscow metro. No ring, just branches. To go in the right direction, you need to know the name of your station and the direction (look at the final one).
- Convenient and well-thought-out taxi system. There are taxi stands all over the city (and, of course, near attractions), the cars are parked almost around the clock, that is, even if it’s late, leaving is not a problem, but even if a taxi is not there, there are machines with a call button. It is customary for taxi drivers in France, like waiters, to leave a small tip of 1-2 euros.
- To save money, you can eat at least once a day not in a cafe, but buy food in a supermarket. The prices are lower, but the quality is no worse than in a restaurant. In the supermarket you can buy everything: foie gras, ham, fruits, cheeses...
- Once you turn off the tourist path and walk 200 meters, prices in cafes and restaurants drop significantly.
- French tap water is one of the five cleanest in the world, so you can drink it straight from the tap (saving money again). There are also free drinking fountains throughout Paris.
- When ordering in a cafe or restaurant, you can ask for a carafe of water and a baguette, and they will bring it completely free of charge (Napoleon’s decree).
- The Ministry of Health monitors the health of its citizens, so under every food or drink advertisement you can find the website or phone number of a fitness club or some kind of health program.
- Strikes and demonstrations are a national sport. Everyone is on strike: airlines, railways and even clochards (in our opinion - homeless people). Once such a demonstrator threatened to throw himself under the wheels of the subway, where the driver announced: “Madame and Monsieur, now we will listen to this gentleman’s speech and move on.” The homeless man was happy that he was listened to and did not throw himself under the wheels.
- There are more tourists in France than residents. There are especially many of them on the Champs Elysees and near the Eiffel Tower. The queues for the Eiffel Tower are cosmic, and is it worth it? The main disadvantage of the tower is that you cannot see the tower itself from it, so you can climb Momparnasse, from there there is an amazing view of Paris, and there are no queues at all. And the best time to come to the Eiffel Tower is in the evening and have a picnic or just sit on the grass when it lights up.
- The French do not eat frogs on such a scale as is commonly believed. Many people haven't tried them at all. But they love foie gras and eat it on many holidays.
- All salads are dressed with an incredibly tasty sauce (mustard with a lot of olive oil).
- The French say that Nutella is very popular among them, judge for yourself: many students, when choosing a hotel where they stay during internships, will prefer the one with Nutella for breakfast.
- The French have their own equivalent of the Big Mac and Big Taste: Croque Monsieur and Croque Madame. This is toast with ham and melted cheese. Croque madame with scrambled eggs on top.
Croque madame with scrambled eggs on top
And a croque monsieur without a fried egg on top
- If you are in an expensive store, for example, Galeries Lafayette or Printam (chic Parisian department stores) and accidentally break a sample of perfume, even 100 ml, you will have nothing. You won't pay a cent. The sellers will delicately wait for the moment when you step away and remove everything (tested from personal experience).
- The French love everything environmentally friendly, so they have the practice of using sheep and goats for mowing.
- The French love their dogs. You can take your dog almost everywhere: to a restaurant, to a cafe...
- Charles de Gaulle Airport is so huge that taxi drivers ask which terminal you need to go to and are very surprised by the question, “Is there really a difference?” There is also a very big one!
- The corridors of the Louvre are so long because the king (the Louvre is a former royal palace) loved hunting, and in bad weather he simply ordered turf to be scattered across the floor of the palace and foxes released. The hunt has begun...
- There are a lot of carousels in Paris. The most famous are in Montmartre and near the Eiffel Tower.
- It's no secret that the name of the French establishment Bistro has Russian etymology. The Russian Cossacks, who occupied the heights of Montmartre, so threateningly demanded that food and drinks be served to them faster, that a distorted word “quickly” came into use among the French, as evidenced by the caption:
Out of habit, browsing the French Internet for all sorts of interesting things for my readers, I accidentally came across the blog of a French coach (this is a coach in our language) on seduction and dating, who gave his readers an article with an intriguing title “7 reasons to date a Russian girl.”
After reading it, I couldn’t resist and give you its translation below in its entirety.
7 arguments from Julien in favor of Russian girls!
1. Russian girls are beautiful
It can be said that the reputation of Russian girls as some of the most beautiful in the world is confirmed by my experience. Refined silhouettes, angelic faces - they turn the heads of everyone they meet on their way. Elegant to the tips of their well-groomed toes, they walk in their high heels with the grace of ballerinas! They make us, men accustomed to turtleneck sweaters and jeans under skirts, dream. It's decided! Your next passion should be a ballerina, not an orange bottle! Invite her to a restaurant, sit in a comfortable chair, order whiskey, place her opposite you and admire, admire!
2. They will teach you to act like a man.
Good manners need to be learned. And if in France they are already lost, then in Russia it is still customary to hold the door and let the lady go forward, take off and hand her a coat without the risk of being accused of machismo.
Even in France, Russian girls will expect similar treatment from you. So, if suddenly your girlfriend (and not necessarily Russian) puts on high-heeled shoes, then it is better to take her by the arm and lend her a shoulder, instead of accusing her of walking too slowly.
In addition, a Russian girl will expect decisions from you, as a man, about where you will go and how you will spend your time. Therefore, forget your usual “Hey, what’s his name, I don’t know, decide for yourself.”
Use these outings as lessons, because, I’ll tell you a secret, even French women love this kind of forgotten treatment, although they don’t talk about it openly!
3. There is no term “warmth” in Russian
There is only “hot” or “cold”. If a Russian lady doesn’t like you, she will immediately show it to you. If it’s the opposite, it will make it clear that you will feel it!
And if French girls don’t kiss on the first date so as not to be considered bad, then Russians, if they fall in love with you, will throw away all conventions and surrender to the passion of the current moment; for them there is only “here and now.” Passionate, crazy, crazy evenings... Appreciate it, because this is the kind of relationship you will remember for the rest of your life!
When Russian girls are in love, they don’t count on little things.
4. Russians love until the end
Passion... a Russian woman in love experiences it every day and is ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of her beloved, like the wives of the Decembrists who went to Siberia for their husbands.
Do you feel sick? She will drop everything and sit next to you, take on all the responsibilities around the house, cook your food, treat you and listen to all your stories. And most importantly, he will do all this with an open heart, and not because “it’s necessary.”
If it’s the man’s job to decide, then the Russian woman’s job is to be present, help and create comfort.
5. It will help you reduce drama.
Russians often have a hard life - medicine is dangerous to health, total corruption at all levels, winter for up to 8 months a year...
Therefore, when they come to France, they know how to appreciate pleasant moments and be content with little. Russians do not have the constant habit of crying like we do.
Therefore, be prepared in the company of a Russian girlfriend not to get hung up on trifles and small troubles, learn to be positive.
6. They know everything about us
Like us, Russians watched movies with Pierre Richard and Louis de Funes as children, and also empathized with the heroes of “Helen and the Boys.” Russians sing songs by Joe Dassin, Edith Piaf, Patricia Kaas and Vanessa Paradis at karaoke, and are also able to talk about Beigbeder’s latest novel.
Unbeknownst to us, Russians are very fond of France and French culture. “See Paris and die” - that’s what they say!
So, if you help them open the door to all things French and serve as a guide, they will appreciate you even more!
7. They will teach you a lot more
Be prepared for anything. After work, Russians usually go to the opera or theater, and not to the latest Spiderman movie. Their favorite book on the night table is Anna Karenina, which they can easily recite, and not the latest issue of Cosmo with a special appendix about “your boyfriend cheating.”
Let's be honest - Russians are more educated and well-read, and therefore have more knowledge of literature, painting and sculpture than a French teacher of fine arts.
And, the cherry on the cake, if you politely ask a Russian, she will happily explain all this to you and even show you with real examples, taking you to the museum. In addition, they know how to grace our “r”...
So, my dear unmarried readers, dreaming of France and Paris, absorb information about what the French value most in Russian women and draw the right conclusions!
People are always interested in knowing what others say about them, so the French often ask me what image France has in Russia, how Russians treat them, what stereotypes there are about the French in Russian culture, what people in our country think and say about them.
I always feel awkward answering this question. I always say that the image is positive, but then I have to admit that they don’t really think or talk about France in Russia. We didn’t even bother to come up with nicknames for the French, we just borrowed the word “paddling pools” from the English. But the French tried themselves and came up with “Russkoff” and “Popoff”.
I make excuses, explain that we have never been direct neighbors, that we do not have enough common history to form a detailed and multifaceted image of France in our culture, but France is exactly as far from Russia as Russia is from France. Nevertheless, in France they think and talk about Russia constantly and a lot.
And if you think that the French imagine a typical Russian as a bear with a balalaika, then you will be surprised how much they know about Russia and what strange things they manage to think about it, despite their knowledge.
Dostoevsky and hieroglyphs
Probably only by deliberately avoiding newspapers, radio and television can you live a day in France without stumbling upon any information about Russia. Even if we discard the standard news items - politics and economics, wars and disasters - that Russia regularly supplies to the world community, there will still be a subject for an article, book or program: guides to the Trans-Siberian Railway, ethnographic, military and historical films, interviews with Russian writers , concerts of Russian performers, ballets and classical music - all this constantly becomes the topic of festivals, exhibitions, reports and broadcasts.
By the way, the most famous Russian writer here is Dostoevsky, followed by Chekhov and Tolstoy, and Pushkin, certainly familiar to Slavists, is ignored by the general public. It is interesting that a Frenchman who has not read Dostoevsky is considered by his fellow citizens to be a poorly educated person, because he is a “world-famous writer,” but a Russian person who is familiar with Moliere and Hugo is surprised, because these are “French writers.” Proud of their literature and culture in general, the French are unlikely to admit it, but it seems that there is some kind of literary inferiority complex hidden here.
Russian, which used to be very popular in France, is still one of the ten most studied languages. Of course, it is losing ground: China has surpassed it by a large margin. Naturally, the leaders are English, German, and Spanish. This is all understandable; the French need these languages for business. Why they need to learn Russian is a mystery. When the myth of the socialist paradise of the brotherhood of workers had not yet been destroyed, many French learned our language only because Lenin spoke to them. Now all this is irrelevant, but Russian continues to be taught, not only in schools and universities, but also privately - just for fun. Russia attracts.
It’s funny that, despite such popularity of the language, you can easily find French people who are sure that Russian writing is hieroglyphic.
Bears and degrees
The same gaping gaps in knowledge are found in the field of geography. The average Frenchman will not only easily show Russia on the world map (it is generally difficult to miss Russia), but will also say without a doubt that it is the largest country in the world, and will confidently name the capital and (at least approximately) the bordering states. In France, in general, secondary education is quite good, so, of course, they are aware of climate zones. And this does not at all prevent them from believing that it is cold always and everywhere in Russia. “This is not true - the tourist website dissuades us - in some places there are warm summers.” What frightens the French most is a temperature around 20 degrees below zero, because it can easily be observed in winter in St. Petersburg and Moscow. Temperatures below -40 do not bother them at all, because this “only happens in Siberia, and people don’t live there.”
Vodka also makes it onto the list of clichés. I especially like this stereotype because the French themselves have a good taiga log in their eye on this matter: according to some data, France is ahead of us in average alcohol consumption per year (though not by much). But it is much more interesting that the French imagine a Russian not always drunk, but on the contrary - never drunk, no matter how much he drinks. They consume alcohol in France, as in our country, contextually: for football in a bar - beer, to get drunk out of grief - strong drinks, in a formal setting - champagne, wine; In addition, in the same way, drinks are divided into men's and women's (men's are stronger, women's are sweeter), and, of course, the homeless, the unemployed and young people drink the most. The only significant difference: having a glass of wine at lunch on a weekday in France is completely normal. And with such a habit of alcohol, they are afraid of vodka like fire and have a complex that they will never drink Russian.
People
These Russians seem to the French to be unfriendly militarists who are associated with the mafia and the KGB, and at the same time - the most sincere and hospitable people. It seems that the frightened French traveler, who found himself in Russia, believes that there is nothing good to expect from the local residents, and, having been convinced of the opposite, he rejoices like God over a repentant sinner, who, as we know, is worth a hundred righteous people.
However, these gloomy labels do not apply well to the better half of Russian society - Russian women are reputed to be beauties and excellent housewives. A French man is very surprised to learn that a Russian bride is going to cook, raise children, and pursue a career. Their own women only gained the right to vote in 1944, and legal backwardness is strongly associated in their minds with patriarchal culture. It is quite difficult to say whether there is patriarchy in Russia or matriarchy, but as far as lack of rights is concerned, in this matter we are all equal.
By the way, Russian men suddenly began to enter the French marriage market. They don’t yet have any more or less attractive image - it is known that they speak in a low, chesty voice, but there is little information about their appearance. But when Karl Lagerfeld said in an interview that, while he considers Russian women to be beautiful, he finds the appearance of Russian men repulsive, the French for some reason zealously rushed to defend the latter, accusing the fashion designer of racism and recommending that he look at himself.
The French also know about Russian men that when they meet, they kiss on the lips. This is probably what Brezhnev needs to say thank you to. In addition, our fellow citizens, both men and women, in France are for some reason credited with incredible abilities for foreign languages and a strange habit of throwing a glass over their shoulder after drinking the contents.
Mafia and KGB
At the same time, the French are afraid of Russia. They know about Perestroika, about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Iron Curtain, but no historical facts can convince them that the USSR is already a thing of the past. One of the most popular questions from French tourists to Russian guides is whether the KGB is listening to their excursions.
I cannot say with a pure heart that all this is nonsense, untruth and exaggeration, but it’s still funny to see with what naive horror they watch our parades on May 9th. It’s hard for me to say why they watch them at all. Probably, then, why do people watch disaster films and programs about the end of the world? Russian military might, nuclear weapons, tanks and the red button still inspire fear among locals.
Paradoxically, this stereotype easily coexists with the conviction that things made in Russia, in principle, cannot work and that there is no civilized life in Russia at all. There are no fashionable clothes, nightclubs, transport, television, the Internet, and everything technological is made by a folk craftsman on the knee of a felt boot (they don’t know what a felt boot is). At the same time, it may be difficult for them to understand what “out of stores”, “water turned off”, “no communication routes have been laid” mean. A strange picture emerges in the imagination: everything is there and there is nothing. Maybe the French love oxymorons? Maybe that’s why they love this gigantic oxymoron so much, stretching for 10 thousand kilometers between Asia and Europe?
From an incredible mixture of stereotypes, some completely inexplicable legends are born. For example, they asked me if it was true that the Russian mafia transports vodka through the Russia-Belarus oil pipeline. It was difficult for me to understand how an engineer working in the aircraft industry could believe that this was even technically feasible.
It's really very simple! Even educated, intelligent people with developed critical thinking want to believe in fairy tales. Russia for the French is a country where the laws of reality do not apply and everything is possible. This is a fairytale. Bloody, scary, but so charming.
