After giving birth, I lost the desire to have an intimate life. Where does the desire for sex disappear after childbirth? Basic methods of increasing libido after childbirth

Pregnancy and childbirth are the most wonderful period in the life of every woman. But all this also has its downsides. So, very often in women, libido after childbirth decreases significantly. How to increase this same libido? Indeed, in married life, the intimate side plays one of the important roles. But it is worth noting that a decrease in libido after the birth of a baby is a completely normal reaction of the female body. And few people manage to avoid such a disorder. It is important how the girl reacts to this and what methods she will take to increase sexual activity.

Why does libido decrease after childbirth?

A short-term decrease in libido after childbirth is a completely natural process. But why does this happen? The first and main reason is hormonal imbalance. From the period of conceiving a baby, a girl’s body experiences hormonal imbalances and changes. And after childbirth, the endocrine system tries to restore its balance. This cannot but affect sexual activity and sexual desire. Also, during breastfeeding, women actively produce a hormone called prolactin. This is what leads to a decline in libido. Prolactin, as it were, restructures the body from the mode of caring for the child, from the mode of the natural instinct of procreation.

It is worth noting that childbirth is a very painful and problematic process. This is a colossal stress for a woman’s body. The instinct of self-preservation begins to turn on. During the postpartum period, a woman is afraid to have sexual relations for fear of pain and discomfort. And if you start sexual activity ahead of time, pain cannot be avoided. In this case, the decrease in libido will be significantly delayed. And it will be very difficult to increase sexual desire.

Don't forget about the psycho-emotional background. The new role of mother for a woman can cause the following mental disorders:

• Insomnia;
• Increased fatigue;
• Dissatisfaction with your shape;
• Depression;
• Fatigue.

A complete disruption of the work, rest and sleep regime will certainly have a detrimental effect on libido. After all, regular lack of sleep after childbirth inhibits the functioning of all systems and organs of the body. In the absence of relaxation of the central nervous system, full sexual desire is out of the question. Caring for a newborn baby takes a lot of effort and time. As soon as the baby grows a little, the woman’s libido will return to its previous level.

Basic methods of increasing libido after childbirth

It's worth waiting some time after giving birth before exploring your options. There is no need to rush in this matter. The body of a young mother must recover on its own. On average, the postpartum recovery period takes up to six months. Sometimes this time increases a little. It all depends on individual characteristics. But, if even six months after giving birth, libido has not returned, it is advised to resort to simple recovery methods.

First of all, this is the diet. A healthy, balanced diet is the key to female sexuality and health. To restore a high level of libido, women’s bodies must receive the following components: zinc, magnesium, manganese, vitamins A, E. Therefore, the following foods are included in the daily diet to increase libido in women:

• Bananas;
• Strawberry;
• Seafood;
• Avocado;
• Fresh vegetables and fruits;
• Melon;
• Chicken eggs.

But, it is important to know that during breastfeeding many foods are contraindicated for consumption. Therefore, you need to create a menu to increase libido together with your doctor. There are also a number that promote sexual desire. Such drugs are prescribed only by a doctor. And you can take them after you have completely finished breastfeeding. Taking any medications on your own is strictly prohibited.

The drug Angelica Forte is very popular for increasing libido in women. It contains natural ingredients, bee products, and a rich vitamin complex. Angelica forte relieves stress and fatigue, increases sensitivity to sexual stimuli. But the product has some side effects: allergies, insomnia, irritability.

If sexual desire is completely absent after a long period after childbirth, doctors may prescribe Viardot forte. This drug contains the following natural beneficial ingredients:

• Zinc;
• Selenium;
• Vitamin E;
• Polyunsaturated fatty acids;
• Phytosterols.

The product has a relaxing effect on the central nervous system. Also, the restoration and strengthening of the entire female body as a whole occurs. After a certain period of time, full libido will be completely restored. Although the product is completely natural, it is still necessary to consult a doctor.

What should my husband do?

The husband's behavior during the postpartum period plays a big role. A man should treat the girl’s difficult condition with understanding. And understand that the absence of sex is not forever, but the unpleasant aftertaste from misunderstanding will remain for life. A man can help restore a woman's libido through his actions and behavior. In this case, you do not have to resort to the help of medications.

In any situation, sexual activity and libido are influenced by sleep patterns. The faster this regime is restored, the faster passion and desire will awaken in a woman. Therefore, most of it depends on the husband, who also pays attention to the child at night. Psychologists recommend separating the sleep area of ​​the child and parents. For this purpose, it is better to use a baby monitor to monitor the baby’s condition.

The husband is obliged to temporarily take on some of the household chores. Caring for a newborn baby does not allow a young mother to do housework: cooking, washing, cleaning. And it will be good if her husband helps her in this and supports her in every possible way. It is worth noting that this is just physical, but also psychological support. A woman will appreciate the care of a loving man. A girl needs to make time for self-care. Let it be only 2 hours a week, but she will completely devote herself to herself, her hobby, and beauty.

A man can create a certain romantic atmosphere. This will help you relax. A man should hurry. Intimacy should begin with foreplay, which can last much longer than before. Over time, passion and desire will definitely awaken in a young mother. It is strictly forbidden to focus on changes in figure after childbirth. This can permanently kill high libido levels in women. A man should know that low libido is a completely temporary phenomenon. Understanding, patience and an integrated approach to the problem will allow you to quickly cope with this problem.

You had a baby and you don't have time for sex? Many women know about this problem firsthand. Don’t worry, give your body time to recover from the shock and everything will work out. What? The child is already a year old, and you still have no time for sex? This is worse. Let's try to figure out what the reason is and how to help ourselves.

1. Health. Yes, it's banal and boring. But if you have chronic thrush or prolapse of the uterus after childbirth, with which you simply live hoping “maybe”, it is difficult to expect sexual agility from you, because no one wants to take actions that will lead to pain. Therefore, no matter how much time you have, solve the problem now. You have your whole life ahead of you, you don’t need to turn into a wreck and, by the way, looking for a new husband is an activity that requires much more time and effort than several trips to the doctor. What does this have to do with the new husband? Despite the fact that your existing spouse is not Mother Teresa and is not at all obliged to constantly push his interests aside with understanding for your permanent ailment.
2. Temperament. The further it goes, the less often, but many in our country still have children quite quickly after the start of a relationship. We met for a year (we lived separately, so there was relatively limited access to sex), we lived in marriage for six months and became pregnant (and some get pregnant, and bypass the stage: “we lived for six months”). In general, not everyone had the opportunity to “eat your fill” and enter into the normal rhythm characteristic of your sexual temperament, and even more so to realize and accept this rhythm. With pregnancy comes certain sexual restrictions again. But people get used to each other, novelty disappears and the need for sexual contact with a partner naturally decreases. It’s like eating sweets after a long period of abstinence. At first, it seems that you eat the whole cake and are ready to do it every day, but after eating half a cake for a week, you begin to understand that you don’t want any more. And then it’s a question of taste preferences. Some people won’t want cake for another month, while others will want something sweet again the next day. Same with sex. By being able to “access the body” on a daily basis, our needs are reduced. And how much is a matter of temperament. But due to the rapid appearance of children in the family, many do not have time to understand that their norm is one piece of cake a week. They still think that half a cake a day is what they need. And then a child appears. There are a lot more worries, and there is enough energy no more than once every ten days. If our new parents lived together for a couple of years before the birth of the child and knew that their norm was once a week, then they would understand that sex had become 42% less frequent than it was. This is unpleasant, but normal given the new worries. Well, what if they firmly believed that their need was 1 contact per day? After the birth of a child, a change in the rhythm of intimate life will seem simply fatal to them - minus 900%. Men are especially affected. It seems to them that their wife definitely doesn’t love them and thinks only about the child. Of course, because sex has become 9 times less!
3. Everything for the front, everything for victory! You are an ideal mother and housewife, you are enough for everything and everyone, except sex. But of course! Your mother, your grandmother, and many others told you what an ideal wife should do for her family and her husband. How many times did they mention “delicious” sex? What about a hot dinner and clean shirts for your spouse? That's it... So, having understood where your legs “grow” from, relax and allow yourself to be a little lazy, saving your energy for sex. If possible, get a housekeeper who will come once a week and clean the apartment. Let the husband eat the same dinner for three days in a row, but he will get sex. Remember, a man needs sex not only as a physical release (he can handle this on his own in the bathroom without you), but as proof of your love and that you are still interested in him as a man, and not just a breadwinner and father of a child.
4. I'm a mother! We all remember DeNiro’s wonderful phrase in the role of a mafioso about why he and his wife cannot do the same as with their mistresses: “What, she’s the mother of my children, she kisses them with those lips!” So, strange as it may seem, many women, after giving birth to children, put on the mother’s costume themselves, taking off and safely hiding the mistress’s costume. This is largely due to the fact that many subconsciously associate sex with a dirty, indecent activity, and therefore unworthy of the high title: Good Mother. But since the true reason is deep in the subconscious and is not clear to everyone, a variety of “excuses” begin: - what if the child wakes up if we have sex next to him;
   - what if we don’t hear that the child is awake and crying, if we have sex in another room;
   - the child wakes up immediately if the mother is not around, so having sex is rare for us.
   In general, there can be many imaginary reasons. And a woman may even lament the fact that because of these “unsolvable” difficulties there is no sex, although she would really like to. Finding out that in fact all the reasons are “false” is very simple. If the “problems” are solvable, but nothing changes, and only new reasons are found why a solution is impossible, the diagnosis is obvious. For example, it is clear to everyone that a child can be taught to sleep in a separate crib in a few days. If it is not done (it is stated that the child is scared or uncomfortable and in general the process of relearning is traumatic for the child’s psyche) - the problem with co-sleeping is nothing more than a screen.
5. Resentment towards husband. You didn’t expect that your husband would still go out for beer with friends on Fridays (by the way, your life has changed much more than his with the birth of a child, and for many it is very difficult to accept this reality)? Have you been counting on your husband for a lot of help with your child, but he manages not to even wake up if the child cries at night? Resentment can easily block the desire for sex, and creep out all the same: “I’m tired, the child will wake up,” etc.

What to do with all this? Option one is simple. Let it be as it is. Many people live like this for years. Some men have a weak sexual constitution. And they lead a lifestyle that is not conducive to the normal production of male hormones (hello beer!) and they are quite happy with rare and even very rare sex. Some have low self-esteem and, while suffering, they still will not look for another happiness, believing that they are unworthy of more (well, at most they will have a mistress). It’s rare, but it also happens that difficulties actually resolve on their own. Well, and, of course, many families break up.

Option two is difficult. You can understand what is preventing normal sex in your life and try to change the situation. It is much more difficult and will require mental strength, but it is a good investment. This is a chance that your child will grow up in a happy, harmonious family. This means he will be harmonious and happy. Isn’t this what every mother wants for her beloved child?

ANSWERED: 01/26/2013

Hello Anna! You are afraid and expect pain; as a result, adrenaline is produced and a vicious circle closes; lubricant is not produced, the pain intensifies.

QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION 06.07.2014 Boyko Dasha, Chernivtsi

Two years have passed since the birth of the child, I am no longer so excited, little lubrication, sex is not pleasant. Tell me the reasons?

ANSWERED: 07/07/2014

Anya, one of the possible causes of your problem may be so-called postpartum depression or its psychosomatic equivalents. In any case, to establish the exact cause of the situation, a visit to a specialist is necessary: ​​a sexologist, preferably together with a partner. The problem is solvable! Good luck, love and health to you! http://vitamed-tver.ru/secsolog/ ; http://www.liveexpert.ru/e/sexolog69?src=inv_ebtn_474142.

ANSWERED: 07/07/2014

Dasha, perhaps these changes occur against the background of a decrease in libido, due to postpartum depression. Contact a specialist: a sexologist, together with your partner. The problem is solved! Love and health to you! http://vitamed-tver.ru/secsolog/ ; http://www.liveexpert.ru/e/sexolog69?src=inv_ebtn_474142.

ANSWERED: 07/21/2014

Anna! We need to understand what happened before the birth? How was your excitement, what excited you? Maybe some poses or something else. And compare - now it’s no longer yours? Or does something need to be fixed? Or your preferences have changed. Or maybe you don’t perceive yourself as a woman, but rather associate yourself more with a woman - a mother? Maybe your husband’s attitude towards you has changed, often after several years of marriage, love, where passion prevailed and sex develops into friendly love, is no longer that bright? In any case, this can and should be worked on. Again, if what happened in the past does not excite you, find something new. This can be done through the same porn, there are many different options, through connecting fantasies, you need to look and choose something for yourself. Next, try to bring yourself to orgasm through the clitoris. How are you doing with this? Maybe there is no motivation (no need). Then, you can use toys from a sex shop, they will tell you everything and advise you. But this is, so to speak, independent work. But in general, it’s better to solve all this with a specialist in order to understand the reason.. Good luck! http://nlp-ti.ru/stati/

QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION 17.08.2016 Svetlana, Sosnovoborsk

QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION 17.08.2016

Hello, three months ago I gave birth to a baby, the birth was difficult, the child was pulled in a vacuum, there were gaps and I couldn’t sit for a month, I was afraid to go to the gynecologist after giving birth, besides, I didn’t have time to take the child to hospitals, I haven’t been able to decide on this for three months. my husband to enter into an intimate relationship, it hurts me a lot when my husband touches me, I’m very afraid, there is no mucous membrane, everything is dry, my periods have returned to normal, why does it hurt so much? Will it always be like this now?

QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION 17.08.2016 Svetlana, Krasnoyarsk region, Sosnovoborsk city

Hello, three months ago I gave birth to a baby, the birth was difficult, the child was pulled in a vacuum, there were gaps and I couldn’t sit for a month, I was afraid to go to the gynecologist after giving birth, besides, I didn’t have time to take the child to hospitals, I haven’t been able to decide on this for three months. my husband to enter into an intimate relationship, it hurts me a lot when my husband touches me, I’m very afraid, there is no mucous membrane, everything is dry, my periods have returned to normal, why does it hurt so much? Will it always be like this now?

ANSWERED: 08/18/2016

ANSWERED: 08/18/2016

No, Svetlana, after a difficult birth you will need a longer recovery period, a more sensitive attitude from your partner and, possibly, advice from a specialist: a sexologist. Good luck and love to you!

ANSWERED: 08/18/2016

No, Svetlana, after a difficult birth you will need a longer recovery period, a more sensitive attitude from your partner and, possibly, advice from a specialist: a sexologist. Good luck and love to you!

Related questions:

If after childbirth the attraction to your husband has disappeared, then there are certain reasons for this that need to be identified and eliminated. This is one of the most common problems in the sex life of young couples who do not know how to deal with it on their own. Sometimes this state of affairs leads young spouses to despair; To avoid this, it is important to remember that a decrease in libido after childbirth has completely natural causes and no less natural means of overcoming this problem.

In the article:

Lost desire after childbirth - main reasons

A short-term decrease in libido after the birth of a baby is a natural process that normalizes after hormonal levels are restored. As a rule, most women who give birth naturally recover faster and may experience increased libido after a short time. If sexual imbalance does not go away, it is worth looking for the cause.

Hormones. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, a woman secretes a special hormone - prolactin; It is he who causes a decline in sexual desire, as if “rebuilding” the body, switching it from the instinct of procreation to the instinct of caring for the child.

Fear before pain is often the cause of decreased libido in women after childbirth. Childbirth is difficult physical work and a great shock for the female body. If you try to start sexual activity ahead of time, then sexual intercourse may cause painful sensations for the woman; One such unpleasant experience can sometimes delay for a long time the possibility of a woman’s libido returning to its previous, “prenatal” level.

Fatigue and lack of sleep . Don't believe that this could be the reason for your lack of sexual desire? Try not to sleep at night, then from early morning load yourself up physically and emotionally with activities so that there is no time to rest, and at one in the morning ask yourself what you want: love pleasures or finally falling asleep. Caring for a newborn is hard and exhausting work; when the child grows up and requires less attention and energy, sexual desire will return to the young mother.

Postpartum vaya depression Happens to almost half of young mothers. Some people are able to quickly cope with this condition, while others need the help of a specialist. The reasons for this phenomenon may be heredity, fear of not living up to the image of a supermom, changes in appearance, financial side, and many other small factors.

Sexual activity disorder

After childbirth, a lot in the world of a woman-mother changes. The child becomes the center of her world, the new role requires a lot of effort, and somehow it happens that time passes, and intimate life with her husband does not resume or does not bring satisfaction at all. Experts identify several reasons for this state of affairs:

1. Hormonal changes in the female body after childbirth, during which estrogen production decreases. In this case, everything can recover on its own after stopping breastfeeding, or it is necessary to undergo a course of hormonal treatment.
2. Physiological changes that occur during pregnancy and birth of a child. The pelvic floor muscles weaken, the volume of the vagina increases, which can affect the sensations of partners and loss of orgasm for a woman. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to do gymnastics for the intimate muscles immediately after childbirth. If time is lost, don't worry. It’s never too late to recover, the main thing is regularity in your exercises.
3. Psychological reasons associated primarily with the young mother’s overwork and changes in her worldview. The main recipe in this case is rest, you can take care of yourself, have fun, and you see, your libido will wake up.

How to increase libido after childbirth - guaranteed ways

The body of a young mother requires a certain period of recovery, on average six months, sometimes longer. How long the recovery period lasts depends on whether the new mother receives physical care and emotional support, gets enough sleep and eats well. Of course, it is impossible to restore a young wife’s sexual desire “in one fell swoop”; but speeding up this process is a very real task. There are several simple recipes for this.

Do not hurry. Give the woman time to recover - and without feeling guilty that she is not a good enough wife. Start caressing little by little - first just hug, kiss; don't demand everything at once. Over time, the woman will begin to show more and more activity.

A spouse who will help with housework and care for the child can help increase libido after childbirth. Try to remove as much of the household chores as possible from the woman. For example, take over your baby's bath or walk; hire a nanny or housekeeper. The more time a young mother has to rest and take care of herself, the sooner she will be able to recover.

Create a romantic atmosphere. Don’t think that the candy-bouquet period is only possible in the first months of dating. Work a little - a woman who feels loved, desired, surrounded by care and attention, responds to affection much more easily. Remember that decreased libido after childbirth is a temporary problem, but mutual love and care are your companions for life.

If after six months a woman is still not ready for an intimate relationship, you can try to fill the menu with a high content of manganese, zinc, magnesium, phosphorus, vitamin A and E. A balanced diet will help restore sexual desire and improve the emotional state of the young mother.

How to restore libido after childbirth and get back on track

Nothing helps cope with emotional stress like an active lifestyle. If 5-6 months have passed since the birth of the child, the young mother feels well and has helpers, then you can begin to take active action. Sports activities are of great benefit for relieving sexual imbalance, improving mood and combating excess weight.

When choosing the type of physical activity, the main thing is not to overdo it. You should not choose types of sports activities where you need to make a lot of effort, since after childbirth, every woman experiences a slight deformation of the back muscles, pelvic bones and chest.

During the postpartum period, women can start short morning jogging, join a swimming pool, and do yoga. Oriental dancing will help you correct your figure and get rid of excess folds in problem areas. Such activities will not be too tiring for a woman, but will be able to restore her sensuality and give her self-confidence.

Water is a unique trainer that, with minimal loads, forces almost all types of muscles to work. You can go swimming only if there are no pain syndromes and the uterus is no longer bleeding.

They are excellent for restoring libido, some of which can be started as early as a month after giving birth, in the absence of any contraindications. Kegel exercises will also be of great benefit to those women who are faced with the problem of involuntary urination and weakening of the vaginal muscles.

A great way to increase libido and reduce belly fat after childbirth is to do Pilates. This is a simplified form of fitness that you can do at home. The exercise program is designed to form a graceful posture, remove side deposits and fill the body with strength and the spirit with energy.

How to increase libido in women after childbirth using simple methods

The easiest and safest way to increase sexual desire is through nutrition, which gradually becomes more varied for a young mother. From the list of products, you should give preference to those that are rich in zinc, which is responsible for sexual desire. Zinc is a natural stimulant and immunomodulator, which improves the quality of intimate life, stops hair loss, and improves memory.

Breastfeeding women need to introduce new foods gradually so that the baby does not experience allergic reactions. The most beneficial foods for libido are seafood, nuts, black and red caviar, chicken hearts, eggs, dried apricots, beef and beef tongue, and Cheddar cheese.

As for pharmaceutical oral medications, they should not be used until the end of lactation, since many components are absorbed into the blood and can cause allergies in the baby. As an alternative, topical lubricating gels can be used. If libido has disappeared after childbirth, you can purchase stimulating lubricants that can improve the quality of sex and restore sensitivity to the genitals. The safest products include products that do not have chemical dyes or harmful components, purchased in specialized stores, and have a quality certificate.

The question of how to restore libido after childbirth interests many women who are faced with the problem of sexual dysfunction. Women should understand that this phenomenon is quite normal during the first six months after the birth of a child. However, if libido does not increase for a long time, and this affects the psycho-emotional and physical health of a woman, you need to look for the reasons from specialists.

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