Wizards can be scary. We discuss what to do so that the meeting with Grandfather does not become a tragedy with a psychologist
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When we first “called” Santa Claus, my daughter was terribly scared. At first she was waiting for him very much, jumping joyfully under the door. But then he comes in, and she freezes, and her eyes are full of horror. And then he came to her, and she ran to the kitchen and under the table. She sat there until Grandfather left.
I didn't expect such a reaction. I thought all the children were waiting for and loving Grandfather. And this is how it happens...
Children are very often afraid of Santa Claus, says psychologist Daria Fateeva. - After all, this is a fairy tale come to life! When all the magic happens in books, that’s one thing; when in movies, it’s also not so scary. But when suddenly a huge guy with a white beard and a floor-length red fur coat appears on your doorstep! This means that the magic happened, happened. And magic can be both good and bad. So what should we expect now? The child is scared. It’s also scary because Santa Claus doesn’t look like him at all. ordinary people, which the child is accustomed to seeing. He is dressed unusually, he has a red nose, low voice, he doesn’t speak at all like dad or grandpa. There is something strange and therefore frightening about him.
What to do if a child runs away from Santa Claus:
The most common reaction of parents is to apologize to Grandfather and shame the child: “Well, Grandfather came to see you, brought gifts, and you!!! Eh!
1. Remember that the most important thing for you is your child, and not what the actor thinks. It’s clear, you paid Grandfather, you got ready for the holiday! But the child cannot rejoice at your command. And now, when he is scared, he needs only one thing - your support. Be close to the heir all the time, take him in your arms, hug him. If she's crying, take her to another room. Let him calm down, and then decide for himself whether to go out and see the wizard or not.
2. No need to persuade. Try to take Santa Claus by the beard, hold his hand, look, he’s not scary.... You won’t be convinced! You'll only scare things even more if you push. The greater the pressure, the greater the resistance.
3. Remember that Santa Claus works with children, and, much like a pediatrician, “he hasn’t seen anything!” He will not be offended, will not get angry, but will wait patiently. Or he will simply leave gifts, a letter and leave. It should be. If Santa Claus himself begins to scold the child and burst into the room, grabs him in his arms, pushes the parents away and says: I’ll figure it out myself... It’s better to send such a Santa as soon as possible to his forest (or where he came from).
4. Don’t shame your child and then don’t remember his reaction. “What a coward you are! Grandfather was coming to see you, and you are ill-mannered!” This will only ruin the holiday and ruin the child’s self-esteem. He will understand that he is bad and weak, but he will not be able to overcome himself. He's still too small.
5. Don’t say nonsense: “If you don’t go to Santa Claus now, I’ll punish you (I won’t love you, I’ll complain to dad, etc.).” Or “if you don’t come out, you won’t see any gifts!” Listen, this is torture, not new year holidays. The child should know that he can trust you with his feelings, his fears. The baby should know that you love him and support him in any situation, that you will help. And Santa Claus gives gifts to everyone, by the way. And strong, and brave, and weak, and timid.
IMPORTANT:
If you contact a company from which Morozov is sent, choose a proven one (preferably one you know) and do not buy into too low prices.
What to do to prevent your child from getting scared:
Watch films where you can see Santa Claus. So that his appearance does not come as a surprise.
Tell the child why Santa Claus has a white beard and white hair (it's snow, frost on it). Why a long, warm fur coat (he lives where it’s always winter).
Let the child prepare the room for the arrival of Grandfather Frost. A poem, a song, a dance. This way the child will feel like the master of the house.
Do not ignore or brush aside if your child is afraid of Santa Claus or another character, but help him get rid of this fear
For many of our kids, this New Year will be the first “conscious” New Year’s holiday with matinees and New Year trees, theatrical performances and surprises, with long-awaited gifts under the tree and a large number of different Santa Clauses. However, seeing the colorful grandfather for the first time, the baby may not be delighted, not happy, but rather afraid of the bearded Santa Claus.
Meeting Santa Claus: how was it for us?
Last year my youngest son Daniel was the first "adult" New Year. He was one week short of 2 years: the first matinees and masquerades, a home New Year with Santa Claus invited and the presentation of gifts. My baby spent the entire series of matinees in the arms of me or his dad, asking and finding protection from strange bearded men in red coats, with a painted face, a stick and a bag. All the tinsel loud music and my grandfather’s overt pestering with games and round dances did not make me happy, but made me wary and be closer to my loved ones.
New Year's Eve. We invited Santa Claus to our home. He earned 100% of his fee, soulfully singing to the children with his guitar, playing games with them, dancing and listening to prepared rhymes. Emil and his little girlfriend were delighted, choking with laughter and never ceasing to ask Santa Claus questions and immediately answer them themselves. And only when it came to presenting gifts from the mysterious bag, Daniel crawled off his father’s cozy lap and enthusiastically began to dance, trying to earn himself a gift.
Why is a child afraid of Santa Claus?
If a child is afraid, you can be happy, no matter how paradoxical it may sound. Your baby has already grown up, he is maturing, and with him his psyche and nervous system. He can already easily and effortlessly imagine something, complete a drawing, think it through in his imagination, and receive a very real and conscious emotion from the resulting result.
Most children's fears at the age of 1-3 years are associated with a lack of life experience, when the new and unknown is most frightening. Usually the child successfully outgrows such fears, but this does not mean that he does not need your support. Fairy tale characters They scare the baby with their unfamiliar appearance, loud voices and some aggressiveness. Father Frost, the clown, Baba Yaga never stand quietly on the sidelines, their role is active and assertive. In fact, they do not allow small children to get used to themselves, because their work begins from the very first second of their stay on the stage, arena, or hall. Their faces are painted, false noses and unusual clothes are scary, and the baby sincerely accepts all their actions at face value.
Under no circumstances should you ignore or brush aside if your child is afraid of Santa Claus or another character, but help him get rid of this fear.
How to properly prepare your child for the New Year?
But you still need to prepare, and not only physically, thinking through the menu, elegant costumes and decorating the Christmas tree. The baby must be prepared mentally for such a big holiday. It has been noticed that if mom or dad are alarmists and make noise for any reason, then their children are more likely than others to be susceptible to fears and anxiety. But if parents are optimists, calm and self-confident people, then their children are brave and daredevil. Still, an apple from an apple tree...
Create a calm and friendly atmosphere at home, solve your adult problems, and you will see that, as if by magic, magic wand, all children's fears will dissipate.
And besides this, preparing for the New Year:
Do not play aggressive games with your child. “The Angry Gray Wolf” and “Dad as the Angry Gray Wolf” are absolutely identical characters for the baby. After such a game, the baby will most likely run to his mother to ask for protection. Best role for your beloved dad, no one has yet come up with something better than a traditional horse.
Introduce your child to Santa Claus, clowns, Gray Wolf and others in advance. Talk about them, read books, watch cartoons, draw and sculpt. You can also write a letter to Santa Claus. It would also be good to write To the gray wolf or Baba Yaga, telling them that Sasha (Dima, Katya) is not afraid of them. When the baby is ready and the characters are familiar to him, there will be no fear, but only exciting and magical anticipation.
What to do if your baby is afraid of Santa Claus?
Well, we prepared and prepared, but the baby still got scared. How to calm down beloved child?
NO NEED:
- Saying: “Enough!”, “Stop it!”, “Don’t be afraid!” If the baby is crying and upset, he simply will not hear you, and your pulling back will only frighten him even more.
- Start long conversations: “You, my dear, are scared. I understand you, you are afraid and think that Santa Claus is scary. But this is not so, because...” Frightened children do not perceive any logical information, and at this moment all the explanations and persuasion of their parents seem to them just incoherent noise.
NECESSARY:
- Leave the hall. If the reason for his fear is in the hall, then remove it from the child’s field of vision.
- Hug, pick up and rock the baby.
- Help get rid of negative emotions and express them in words when the baby comes to his senses a little. “I see you are scared. I also get scared, and then everything inside me shrinks. Like this!"
- Speak in a whisper. Whispering is wonderfully calming to a child and helps to distract and change the topic of conversation.
- Switch the child's attention. Offer to have a drink, go see something interesting, sing a song together, unwrap a gift, etc.
Well, I’ve armed you with tips on how to prepare your child for the New Year. There is still time to prepare. Now all that's left is to have fun celebrating the New Year with little children!
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Marina Protopopova, head of the Barnaul family center “YMCA Cradle,” will tell you how to make your baby believe in a fairy tale and not be afraid of a kind, bearded old man.
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I was very surprised when, having tried on the warm “skin” of Santa Claus for the first time, I learned that some children are afraid of this bearded good fellow. It was like that. Me with a cotton beard, in a red caftan, soaked fabulous atmosphere, played the classic game “I’ll Freeze” with the children. It was time to end the action, but the children did not want to let “grandfather” go. To be honest, this initiative came more likely not from the children, but from the parents, who longed to amuse their pedagogical vanity at the moment when their beloved child, to the delight of those around him, would produce a memorized poem on a New Year's theme.
So, they bring the sweetest-looking Snowflake, who looks like three years old, to me and say: “Read a poem to your grandfather, and he will give you a gift.” I nodded busily and said in a slightly affected theatrical bass: “Come on, don’t be afraid, please the old man with a New Year’s poem.” Here the corners of the girl’s mouth twitched nervously, her eyebrows raised like a house, and she burst into tears, clinging to her mother. I, too, I must admit, was taken aback by this reaction, and I also wanted to cuddle up to someone, but there was only an artificial Christmas tree nearby...
Only after some time did I learn that there is such a type of fear - “clausophobia” (fear of New Year’s mythical characters, including Santa Claus).
I decided to invite Santa Claus for the New Year so that he could give gifts to my son (he is 3 years old), writes sibmama.ru forum user natalya+OLEG. - But, to my surprise, I encountered negative reaction on the part of my loved ones, they tell me: “It’s too early,” “Why spoil the child’s psyche?” etc. I would like to ask at what age and how should a child be introduced to Santa Claus?
At three years old, it’s time to introduce your child to this wonderful character from Russian fairy tales, says the psychologist. -Of course, it happens that the appearance of Santa Claus can frighten your child. How can it be that a kind grandfather scares a child? I will answer: easily. Just put yourself in the shoes of your son or daughter. comes to your apartment unknown man with a beard as gray as snow and wearing strange clothes. For no apparent reason he starts talking to you in a low, rough voice, moreover, he asks you to sing or dance something... In fact, if your first acquaintance with Santa Claus was completely unsuccessful, then this can cause the appearance of a variety of fears You need to be even more careful if your baby does not attend kindergarten and not used to large crowds of people.
Therefore, in order for this meeting to leave only the most positive impressions on the child, a number of simple requirements must be met. Firstly, when ordering a holiday, ask about the scenario in detail. Will there be characters there that might scare your child? Such heroes could be Baba Yaga or the well-known Koschey, who are completely unafraid to an adult.
Plus, everything about a holiday should be clear for a three-year-old child. It is better to sacrifice entertainment too, that is, there should be no firecrackers or other noisy things.
Surprises should also be handled carefully. That is, of course, you should not include heroes suddenly jumping out of a bag or unexpectedly appearing from a doorway. The actor's emotions should also be softened a little and not be very expressive.
It is advisable to keep the duration of the holiday to 20, maximum 30 minutes.
And, perhaps, the main rule is that if they play, then everyone plays. In other words, if Grandfather decided to dance in circles, then the parents also need to get involved. The same applies to songs and dances.
You should not force your child to do something, for example, if he has no desire to recite a poem. So that it does not happen that instead of wonderful moments of acquaintance with a fairy tale, a child’s head is left with only memories of how some uncle with a beard demanded a song from him. If everything goes right, the child himself will eventually get involved in the action and receive a lot of positive emotions from it.
My daughter is now two years old,” says Barnaul resident Natalya. - So I’m thinking whether it’s necessary to introduce a child to Santa Claus at all. Maybe we should immediately say that he is not there, so that later there will be no psychological trauma?
I can say for sure: meeting Santa Claus is very useful for a child,” says Marina Vladimirovna. - On the contrary, you shouldn’t raise a pragmatist. Children tend to dream and fantasize, and this is not a childish whim - this is the key to good, full development of the individual. That's why it's so good fairy tale, like faith in the New Year and all its heroes, is a very useful thing.
I am sure that there will be no mental trauma from the fact that a child finds out that Santa Claus does not exist. There are many wonderful examples when adult children, knowing for sure that their mother puts gifts under the tree, still do not abandon their faith in a fairy tale. Why, almost every adult, somewhere in the depths of their souls, quietly, so that no one hears, believes that kind Grandfather Frost still exists and magic is subject to it.
Dear readers!
You have the opportunity to ask your question to a psychologist by sending an SMS to 8-962-814-2347 or to Email: [email protected]. We will publish the answers in the newspaper or on the website.
Dear readers!
We are doing this project specifically for those who daily face the problems of raising the younger generation. It is known that many habits and basic character traits are formed in a child under 5 years of age. Perhaps this is also the most interesting age person. Every Wednesday we will talk about the problems of raising our children, our experienced psychologists will answer your questions, and you will share your secrets and methods of education.
When we first “called” Santa Claus, my daughter was terribly scared. At first she was waiting for him very much, jumping joyfully under the door. But then he comes in, and she freezes, and her eyes are full of horror. And then he came to her, and she ran to the kitchen and under the table. She sat there until Grandfather left.
I didn't expect such a reaction. I thought all the children were waiting for and loving Grandfather. And this is how it happens...
Children are very often scared of Santa Claus, says psychologist Daria Fateeva. “After all, this is a fairy tale come to life! When all the magic happens in books, that’s one thing; when in movies, it’s also not so scary. But when suddenly a huge guy with a white beard and a floor-length red fur coat appears on your doorstep! This means that the magic happened, happened. And magic can be both good and bad. So what should we expect now? The child is scared. It’s also scary because Santa Claus is completely different from the ordinary people the child is used to seeing. He is dressed unusually, he has a red nose, a low voice, and he doesn’t speak at all like dad or grandpa. There is something strange and therefore frightening about him.
What to do if a child runs away from Santa Claus:
The most common reaction of parents is to apologize to Grandfather and shame the child: “Well, Grandfather came to see you, brought gifts, and you!!! Eh!
1. Remember that the most important thing for you is your child, and not what the actor thinks. It’s clear, you paid Grandfather, you got ready for the holiday! But the child cannot rejoice at your command. And now, when he is scared, he needs only one thing - your support. Be close to the heir all the time, take him in your arms, hug him. If she's crying, take her to another room. Let him calm down, and then decide for himself whether to go out and see the wizard or not.
2. No need to persuade. Try to take Santa Claus by the beard, hold his hand, look, he’s not scary.... You won’t be convinced! You'll only scare things even more if you push. The greater the pressure, the greater the resistance.
3. Remember that Santa Claus works with children, and, much like a pediatrician, “he hasn’t seen anything!” He will not be offended, will not get angry, but will wait patiently. Or he will simply leave gifts, a letter and leave. It should be. If Santa Claus himself begins to scold the child and burst into the room, grabs him in his arms, pushes the parents away and says: I’ll figure it out myself... It’s better to send such a Santa as soon as possible to his forest (or where he came from).
4. Don’t shame your child and then don’t remember his reaction. “What a coward you are! Grandfather was coming to see you, and you are ill-mannered!” This will only ruin the holiday and ruin the child’s self-esteem. He will understand that he is bad and weak, but he will not be able to overcome himself. He's still too small.
5. Don’t say nonsense: “If you don’t go to Santa Claus now, I’ll punish you (I won’t love you, I’ll complain to dad, etc.).” Or “if you don’t come out, you won’t see any gifts!” Listen, this is torture, not New Year's holidays. The child should know that he can trust you with his feelings, his fears. The baby should know that you love him and support him in any situation, that you will help. And Santa Claus gives gifts to everyone, by the way. And strong, and brave, and weak, and timid.
If you contact a company from which they send Morozov, choose a proven one (preferably someone you know) and do not buy into too low prices.
What to do to prevent your child from getting scared:
Watch films where you can see Santa Claus. So that his appearance does not come as a surprise.
Tell the child why Santa Claus has a white beard and white hair (it's snow, frost on it). Why a long, warm fur coat (he lives where it’s always winter).
Let the child prepare the room for the arrival of Grandfather Frost. A poem, a song, a dance. This way the child will feel like the master of the house.
