The woman is married. But marriage is not an obstacle to changes in life. And changes come in different forms. They can be both negative and positive.
Love is beautiful. What “shade” does she wear if she suddenly comes to a married woman? - Very bright!
So, you are struggling in search of an answer to this question. If you ask a question of this kind in other words, it will probably sound like this: “I fell in love, but I am married. What should I do?".
Possible answers:
- Fall out of love
Putting all your strength into the pursuit of “non-love.” This is quite difficult to do. But there is a possibility. After all, if a person strives very hard for something, then he will achieve what he wants. He will definitely achieve it if he believes in himself. And believe me that everything will work out for you.
- Improve your relationship with your husband
Perhaps you simply “invented” your love for another man, because the “dark streak” in your relationship with your spouse never leaves you. Think carefully: is love what you call it?
- Love your husband again
And what? And this is possible! Remember what men say when women radically and successfully change their appearance... “I fell in love with you again!”
- Tell the whole truth to your husband and go to your loved one
The truth needs to be told in a way that is minimally painful. Something like this: you list all his “advantages,” looking into his eyes, and explain, as tactfully as possible, your entire situation. Do not allow any rudeness in conversation. Rudeness can really hurt. In order not to cross the boundaries of rudeness and “not rude”, put yourself in your husband’s place. Say everything in the form in which you would like to hear the truth.
- Meet secretly
This option is for those who are not afraid and decide to change, thus preserving their family and feeling happiness. Although, the option is very complex in its structure. Conscience will interfere. Unless of course she is sleeping in the depths of her soul.
- Give up love, convincing yourself that it is not love, but sexual attraction, and nothing more
The task is of the highest degree of difficulty. But any problem can be solved, even if not on the first try.
- If there are children, the situation becomes more complicated.
Whatever you decide, children should not suffer from the decision you make. It’s not the children’s fault that you have such an “interesting” situation. We must not forget about children. Love certainly blinds, but “blindness” should not extend to those who need you like no one else.
- If it happens that you are inflamed with feelings for one of your former fans, you need to think carefully again
What if this is a passion that will soon fade away? It will turn out like this: you will break up with your spouse, go to “new love”, destroy your family and break your husband’s heart…. And it turns out that love is not love. It will be a shame not only for you, but also for the one whom you left in vain, because you want to go back to the past.
One girl, on her blog, wrote a story about how she fell in love with her husband’s brother. She knew that their relationship was impossible because she did not want to spoil the brothers' relationship. She “killed” love by being constantly distracted.
Distraction from Another Man's Love
Here is what was included in the list of her “distractions” from love:
- Driving courses.
- Cooking.
- Reading books.
- Walks.
- Internet.
- Computer games.
- Job.
- Cleaning the house.
- Makeup.
- Aromatherapy.
- Music.
- Film comedies.
- Sweets.
- Trips.
- Photo.
- Very strong coffee.
- Beading.
If it helped her, perhaps it will help you too. And it will help a lot. It's worth pampering yourself with an experiment. This will help you develop versatility in you. A useful “thing”, isn’t it?
Fell in love virtually?- Disconnect from the Internet for a long time so that there are no temptations to meet, communicate, and other things. Is love stronger than you? Meet with this person to see if this is true.
- If you are dating and it turns out that you were not mistaken, be with your loved one, but do not forget that your husband must reveal the truth!
If you realize that you were mistaken, rejoice: the opportunity has arisen to preserve the family “unit” that you planned to destroy. When thinking about the Internet, one cannot even remember the forums into which many people “pour” their experiences and stories.
Stories of married women who fell in love with other men
This is what they “pour out” on the topic of such love:
Theodora: I've been married for five years. I fell in love with a neighbor who moved in across the street. Well, why did he move here and not to some other apartment? I try not to think about him, but we often “cross paths” either at the entrance, or in the entrance, or at the door of the apartment…. He became my obsession. And it’s good that his name is the same as my wife’s. Otherwise, I don’t know how I would have restrained myself and never called my husband by my neighbor’s name.
Victoria: Yes, I love someone else. But I'm not going to leave my husband. If I once chose him and said “yes” to him, it means it’s for a reason. Family is very important to me. And I won't 
do nonsense. Love passes. So, I'll wait until it passes.
Valencia: I have been a married woman for nine years. Three of them are in love with another man. She decided to save the family for the sake of the child. I don’t want my daughter to rush between me and her dad because of me. I see my beloved (he lives in one of the neighboring houses) - my heart begins to beat like a machine gun fire. My legs run towards him on their own, but I stop them with my consciousness. He knows about my feelings. He understands how mutual they are. But he is also married. Our “unfreedoms” torment our souls. I want to move to another city, or to another country. Somewhere where I will neither see nor hear him. If only it were possible 
to settle in Space - I would do that too.
Magdalena: I confess honestly: I am cheating on my husband. But not because it is my whim. I fell in love so much that I was simply going crazy. He is Japanese. My friends think that I sleep with him for money, because my husband gets little money. I don't care about Raphael's money! I feel good with him. This fact is more important than any finances and everything else. I can't confess everything to my husband. And I won’t do this, because I don’t want unnecessary conflicts. I will remain his wife. Perhaps, after many, many years, I will reveal everything to him, I will tell him. But not now. I myself will feel “that” time.
Continuation of the topic. . .
I love someone else, what should I do? -
What to do, if -
Treason for treason -
Relationship -
Warm greetings to you, dear readers of the HappinessMania blog!
A year ago, a woman came to me for help. Her story.
She is 29 years old. She loves her husband very much and has been living with him for 5 years. The child is 3 years old. The relationship with my husband is excellent, they take care of each other, the marriage can be called almost ideal. And then she unexpectedly falls in love with another man from work. He is not married, but he has been living with some woman for several years, and they have a child.
She's crazy with passion. I want to run after him to the ends of the earth, I’m ready to give everything to be with him for an extra minute. For her, he is like a ray of light in a dark kingdom.
She approached me at a stage when their relationship had not yet gone beyond platonic. They haven't even really communicated yet. She really wanted to save her family, but did not know how to extinguish this crazy fire of a new passion in herself, from which she was afraid of burning out, because she could neither eat, nor sleep, nor think about anything else, and was on the verge of destroying her families.
My previous consulting experience suggested:
If a woman in a happy family relationship suddenly falls in love with someone else, then most likely she simply lacks emotions in life.
And neither the husband, nor the other man, nor she herself is to blame. It doesn’t matter at all what the other man or husband will be like. If a woman does not find ways to bring emotions and romance into her life with her husband, or find something she likes that will simply take her breath away, then passion on the side is inevitable, such is nature. It is necessary to control outbursts of emotions, gradually adding them into your life, otherwise they will control us, cover us completely at the most inopportune moment and destroy everything in their path.
In our situation, she called him a “ray of light.” I asked what her dark kingdom was. She said that everything had become ordinary, everyday activities were the same every day, it all seemed like some kind of stagnation. Overall I like the job as a job. She feels tenderness and adoration for her husband and respects him very deeply. I came back from maternity leave because I was homesick.
The assumption about a boring life was confirmed. This means that the other man doesn’t play any role here at all, especially since she doesn’t know anything about him yet, and she almost didn’t tell him about herself. The main goal was to bring the spark back into her personal life.
According to my observations, if the relationship with a man remained platonic, they did not kiss, did not walk to romantic places holding hands, and especially did not sleep together, then it will be quite easy to forget him. If, moreover, the man and woman practically did not communicate, then there is almost no problem. The main thing is to remove it from sight and endure it for a couple of weeks or months.
There will be nothing to remember, because there was nothing, chasing the same memory of his beautiful eyes in circles will sooner or later get boring, and if new information about him is not received, then gradually his image will fade and completely disappear from memory.
Therefore, I advised her to urgently change jobs, or at least avoid his company as much as possible. When you catch yourself thinking about him, don’t blame yourself, but simply switch to something else. If this doesn’t help her within a month, and her passion for another man still won’t leave her alone, then we’ll think about what to do about it.
Not abruptly, so that the husband does not get scared, but gradually return romance to the relationship with your husband. Allocate special time and money to prepare surprises and joint events. This weekend there, next weekend here. To make it interesting for both, agree on this. Picnics, romantic walks, guests, trips, joint activities in some hobby or sport. Sometimes together with the child, but at least once every one or two weeks just the two of us.
And the main thing that will forever drive melancholy out of life is to think about her calling, about the work that she would really like to do. Can give birth to children and develop them? Or learn something new that you’ve always dreamed of and try yourself at it?
Crafts, photography, playing musical instruments, drawing, psychology, cooking, writing or thousands of other activities. This business does not necessarily have to generate income, it should light a spark in the eyes and give a feeling of self-worth and importance to people.
And what is important is to never admit to your husband your passion for another man. The male ego is very vulnerable, not everyone is able to understand and accept this. You can ruin your whole life and his whole life with this stupid confession.
She and I worked a little more on a plan for further action, and our classes ended. And a month later she wrote me a letter in which she told me what happened next.
She began to avoid the other man, and within a week she began to calm down. She turned her attention to her husband, they left the child with the grandmother and went out of town for a week together. We rode a bike, walked through the forest, went fishing and hiking. It reminded her what a wonderful man he was, she became attracted to him again and fell in love even more.
They talked a lot and became even closer to each other. He reminded her that she once dreamed of teaching people Spanish, which she knew perfectly. They discussed the idea, and after returning from vacation, she posted an ad about giving lessons via Skype. Several people responded, and she began to work with them.
Her husband supports her in everything, she wants to leave work to devote herself to her family and her favorite business. If she remembers another man occasionally, it is with horror, because this obsession could completely destroy her life. She herself does not understand how this could have happened and what it was, but, fortunately, it passed without a trace.
Now, a year later, I am watching her life. She blossomed, very happy. She quit her job and is creating a foreign language school. In her eyes is the same spark that she once lacked so much, and which she was looking for in the world around her, but found within herself.
If you also need support at the moment, you can. The first trial consultation is a gift!
Finally, no educational videos today, just entertainment for a surge of emotions;)
Any woman, when getting married, firmly believes that she will live happily ever after with her chosen one, in love and harmony. This happens in many married couples. But, unfortunately, it also happens that after living in marriage for a certain number of years, a woman grows cold towards her husband and falls madly in love with another man. Why is this happening?
Family psychologists identify several reasons why a similar situation may arise in a woman’s life.
Why can a woman fall in love with another man?
A woman got married without love. Alas, not all marriages are concluded out of great love. Often women get married not because they are in love with their chosen one, but simply out of fear of being an old maid. The popular saying: “If you endure it, you will fall in love” does not always justify itself in practice. A woman’s heart yearns for love, and if a woman was never able to love her husband, then she will love someone else... Bad attitude of her husband Even if a woman married for love, if the husband often offends the woman, cheats, is rude, and does not take her into account. In this case, all the blame for the situation falls entirely on the husband. Crisis of marital relations All families, without exception, even the happiest ones, go through moments of crisis, during which relations between spouses worsen, become uneven, and conflictual. Not all married couples go through these crises successfully, especially if in a conflict situation each spouse knows how to hear only himself and does not consider it necessary to adapt to his partner. And if, during a family crisis, a woman meets a man with whom she develops mutual sympathy, she may decide that her marriage was a mistake and rush into the abyss of new love. Boredom There is a category of women who very often fall in love with other men because they quickly get bored with calm and monotonous marital relationships. Such women, when their family life flows smoothly and calmly, begin to get bored or rush in search of new love relationships, and the risk of exposure makes their feelings even more acute. Probably, such women are simply not created for quiet marital happiness... Meeting a soul mate It also happens that a husband and wife are not bad people, but very different. If a man and a woman look at life differently, have different life goals and priorities, they will never be able to be happy with each other and they will always have problems with mutual understanding. And if a woman living with a spouse who is alien to her suddenly meets on her way a man with whom she has a lot in common, then it is not surprising if she falls in love with him. Thirst for romance The popular expression: “The love boat crashed into everyday life” turns out to be true for many families. It should be clarified that it is not everyday life that kills love, but the lack of romance, when communication between husband and wife comes down only to jointly solving current family problems. And then another man appears next to the woman, who gives her flowers, says compliments, beautifully declares his love - is it easy for her to resist?
What should a woman do who has fallen in love with another man? Lead a double life, deceiving your husband, or destroy your family for the sake of love?
Calmly analyze what happened. The reason why such a situation arose is very important. If the whole point is an unbearable relationship with your husband or a lack of marital love, then it is advisable to get a divorce not only because of new love, but also because living with an unloved person is immoral, and enduring constant scandals is pointless! But if the only reason to destroy your own family is passion for another man, then it’s worth thinking about... Soberly assess the prospect of a relationship with your beloved man. As a rule, all love relationships start out beautifully, but it’s not a fact that it will continue to be so. It very often happens that a woman begins to feel passion for another man and leaves her disgusted husband for him, and as a result, after some time, the relationship with her lover becomes the same as it was with her husband, or even worse! Before making a vital decision, a woman must realize that good is not sought from good. Be honest The worst thing a woman who has fallen in love with another man can do is start dating her lover in secret from her husband. Firstly, everything secret sooner or later becomes clear, and secondly, having a relationship with two men at the same time is simply unscrupulous. It is much more correct to honestly inform your husband about your decision to break up with him, and only then begin to build a new relationship! Have a serious conversation with your loved one Before making a fateful decision, a woman should have a frank conversation with her beloved man and ask whether he is going to join his destiny with her if she becomes free. Very much because it is so convenient for them, since such relationships do not oblige them to anything! And as soon as a woman divorces for the sake of her beloved, her beloved immediately finds an excuse to break off relations with her.
Unfortunately, marriage is not always as perfect as many people want it to be. women and men. Why is this happening? Because as soon as you stop working on yourself and trying to give in to your loved one, a wall of misunderstanding appears and many couples break up.
Sometimes this can be prevented, but more often than not, due to a series of misunderstandings and quarrels, it goes away forever. There is another situation when one of the partners ceases to feel the feeling of love, without which he cannot imagine his life. Some women admit to themselves that, being in family relationships, they constantly fall in love with other men. Is it correct? Will such feelings necessarily lead to divorce and can this be considered cheating? You will learn about this from this article.
Why do you fall in love with other men?
At the initial stage relations Many representatives of the fair sex are faced with a storm of emotions, which make them want to connect their lives with this particular person. But after a year and a half, these emotions disappear, you become accustomed to the person you live next to, and everyday life discourages all desire to dream and devote yourself to passion. Therefore, you begin to look at other men, subconsciously trying to return the very emotions that brought so much happiness at the beginning of your relationship with your loved one.
You can fall in love with man at work, the guy who sits opposite you on the subway or the salesperson in the store who shows you chic outfits and compliments you. In this case, the object you feel sympathy for may not even suit your taste, the most important thing is that when you see it, your breath takes away and your heart begins to beat faster. You become a kind of drug addict for whom it is so important to feel a new surge of emotions.
Love or infatuation?
Costs understand that these are two completely different concepts, because falling in love happens quite often, but love happens very rarely. Falling in love appears when you meet a person and can last up to a year. At this time, you and your lover get to know each other and try to find common ground. It’s a great time, because all your thoughts are about your loved one, and the shortcomings are practically invisible or you are ready to put up with them. However, after just a few months, you begin to understand what kind of person is next to you.
If this Love, then your relationship will last, and if not, you will no longer be able to be together. You need to fight for it and you need to cherish love; if you neglect this rule, the relationship with your loved one may end. Love is being in love, which has grown into something more serious, despite the shortcomings of the partner. If it seems to you that loving is very easy, then it is not so, you need to constantly work. Therefore, your falling in love with other men is a simple outburst of emotions, and a strong marriage is success and hard work.
Can falling in love with other men be considered betrayal?
No, but up to a certain point moment. Psychologists have conducted research and proven that many women who constantly fell in love with other men while married are more likely to cheat.
This happens when a representative opposite sex begins to show mutual sympathy. A temptation appears that is impossible to resist. As a result, the woman decides to take such a difficult step and betrays. Husbands may not know about the betrayal at all, but most often they guess, because their beloved wife ceases to show interest and show her affection. Most often, she completely refuses sex and tries to look better, but not for her husband
What should I do if I constantly fall in love with other men?
1. Think about your husband. If you have a good relationship with him, then the knowledge that you are betraying him will stop you a little. Just at that moment when you are overwhelmed by another stream of emotions, imagine your spouse in front of you and remember your best moments. This way you will cool down a little and be able to think as soberly as possible.
2. Stop yourself from falling in love. How to do it? Come up with punishment and rewards and try to assess the current situation as soberly as possible. If you do not begin to control yourself in time, there is a high probability that all these games will lead to divorce. Is this really what you want? If yes, then it is at this moment that you tell your husband that you do not love him and that your marriage does not make any sense. The sooner you do this, the less painful it will be for your husband, and you will be able to continue your relationships with other men with a clear conscience, if you cannot imagine your life without it.
3. Avoid men you have a crush on. As soon as you feel that another wave of emotions is covering you, limit communication with a specific man. If this is a colleague, stop interfering with him, if a friend, meet with the company only when he is not there. In fact, it will be difficult for you at first, but soon you will understand that the man you love is more important, and those feelings that were blowing your mind yesterday seem frivolous and empty today. You can fall in love with your husband again if you want and if you convince yourself that he is better than those who simply awakened your fantasies.
Life is so complex that it is difficult to imagine what will happen tomorrow. Of course, I would like everything to happen incrementally: love to become stronger; passion is brighter; money in the family, so that it only increases. That's how I dream.
But time distorts everything and, usually, everything turns out, to put it mildly, not as rosy as thought. Love is already becoming almost invisible, there is simply no time for any passion, and, by definition, there is always not enough money. Children, family worries, career...
And one day, the once beloved man became unloved, and it became boring to be with him. And then, most often at work, the heart stops on someone else. And you begin to suffer, because being a married lady, you have fallen in love. So what should we do now? Leave your husband? Or have an affair with an unexpected ending?
I am married, but I love someone else: what should I do?
If a woman falls in love with someone else, then, according to psychologists, the reason lies in the problems that have arisen with her current partner. Studies have shown that only 2% of female infidelity is justified. That is, a woman begins to look the other way when something starts to go awry in her own home.
Therefore, you need to think a hundred times before leaving or cheating, perhaps this is just a love that will dissipate over time, and the consequences will be irreparable.
But if a situation arises when a woman says: “I’m married, but I love someone else: what should I do?” - something really needs to be done.
There are several ways, it's up to you which one to choose. If you decide to remain faithful to your husband, family and common sense, then you need to make every effort to stop loving another person. Nobody says that it is very simple, on the contrary, it is really difficult. However, if you want and try, then anything is possible.
It may also be that you invented love, composed it as a result of lack of contact with your husband. Therefore, it is necessary to improve family relationships. Talk more, touch, find a common cause, invite you on a date, watch movies together, etc. You can change your appearance so that your husband will notice again, fall in love and show feelings.
There is the opposite option: gather your strength and tell your husband everything. But this must be done as delicately and tactfully as possible. Avoid rudeness and accusations. Make sure your departure is quick.
If your conscience has been dormant for a long time, there is a desire to save your family and continue your relationship, then you can meet with your loved one secretly.
A very delicate situation occurs when there are children. Whatever the outcome of the case, they should not suffer. They don’t need to witness disagreements, scandals, etc. Therefore, they will have to think not only about themselves, but also about the whole family. And if you decide to leave, weigh everything, it is important that the new love does not turn out to be fleeting.
Interesting video trainings that will help you understand the situation
Amazing video from Ada Conde:
Alexander Sviyash advises:
Consultation with a psychologist:
